When a Friendship Shifts

It’s my pleasure to welcome my new-found friend and fellow writer, Joy Williams, as my guest blogger. Her passion is sharing the life-changing truths about the grace of God in Christ.  Joy’s words bless me because she always points me to Christ. Welcome Joy even in this……..

I’m hopeful when a friendship begins. I’m grateful when a friendship grows. But I’m hurt and perplexed when a friendship shifts.

During a recent conversation with a friend, awkwardness hung over every word. Our once familiar space felt foreign to me.

It was evident our friendship was changing. We’ve been friends for years, but now phone calls are fewer. Texts are shorter. Sharing has become shallow.

If you’ve ever had a friendship shift, you know the symptoms: Disruption followed by silence or distance followed by absence.

Sometimes it’s by mutual understanding; when the busyness of life competes with our priorities. Other times, it’s a natural progression; for example, when a friend moves away or moves into a new phase of life. But it can also happen as a painful reaction to something that was done or said.

Regardless of what’s causing my friendship shift, I miss my friend. I miss the way we used to laugh at the same thing and hurt over similar things. The pace of our lives changes, new needs constantly surface and new priorities often appear. Yet, I believe…

A true friend loves regardless of the situation,
and a real brother exists to share the tough times. – Proverb 17:17 Voice

How can friends remain true in every circumstance?

I believe tough times provide the biggest opportunity. However, if much of our time is spent second guessing and fault finding, the toughest thing to share could be an honest conversation about how we really feel.

When friendships fail to adapt to what’s new, it’s hard to hold onto what was.


I want to rally around the Proverbs 17:17 cry. But I don’t want to rally alone. However, John 15:12-13 reminds us friendship requires selflessness and even sacrifice. Jesus was willing to lay down His life for His friends. Now, I find it hard just to pick up the phone to call her.

Help me to do better Jesus.

Help me show her You, Jesus. You show love to the failing and compassion to the weak.

You show love and compassion to me.

Some friendships are for a reason. Some are for a season and some are for a lifetime. It’s a familiar saying, but it’s not always easy to know the reasons behind a season in a friendship.

However, I do know where to take my hurting heart. I’m taking it straight to Jesus.
He helps me sort through my emotions. He forgives my faults. He offers His counsel for my regrets. Until…

I have the words to express His heart.

The heart to hold His compassion.

His peace for this friendship’s path.

If you’re feeling a friendship shift too, here’s some good news: People fail each other; but Jesus never will. He knows how to mend what’s broken in and around us. I’m praying for friendships to heal and to become powerful places to share hope for the heart and joy to the soul.

Joy A. Williams is a writer, speaker and the author of Friendship MAPS: A Journey through Maturity, Aspirations, Perspectives and Struggles. Through her weekly blog, she encourages sincere or side-tracked truth seekers with “hope for the heart and joy to the soul” at joyAwilliams.com. You can also connect with Joy on Twitter @joytothesoul or on Facebook fb.me/joytothesoul.



Have You Felt Invisible?

Have you ever felt invisible?

ID-100111764 Even though you were in a room with people who knew you?

I remember a little girl in kindergarten. One day, during recess, she went to the edge of the playground and sat with her back to her peers.

She said, “I just wanted to know if anyone would notice.”

Imagine being that five-year-old girl. Surrounded by classmates who jumped rope, climbed monkey bars, and laughed—oblivious to her.

Or if they noticed the solitary figure, they weren’t concerned enough to ask her, “Why are you sitting alone?”

They didn’t call her name or beg, “Come and play.”

Who knows what motivated that little girl to sit alone with her back to the crowd. Did the need for affirmation, backfire? Did she build walls of self-protection?

What painful thoughts stabbed her as she waited, and waited, wanting…

To be Noticed. To be Missed.

How does it feel to be invisible?

To hear people talk around you, but act like you’re not there. To have someone ask you a question without waiting for the answer. Or never listen to your words.

Once, there was a man who suffered from seisures, possessed by demons. He lived alone in the tombs, outside a town. People thought him mad, and tried to chain him. But he escaped, and ran wild.

So they avoided him. Pretended he wasn’t there.

Did he feel invisible?

Then one day a Stranger came along and saw the man. The Stranger took pity, and healed him with His words.The people were amazed when they saw the man, in his right mind, sitting at the Stranger’s feet.

How did this happen? Who is this Stranger?

Fearful, the people told the Stranger, “Go away. Leave us alone!”

But imagine the joy of that man who had lived alone among the dead, and was now set free?


A life forever changed because Someone noticed. Someone cared.

One act of kindness–even from a stranger–can make a difference. Because maybe deep down, inside of us, we’re like that five-year-old girl.

We want Someone to notice.

Can you remember a time someone made a difference in  your life?

Do you know WHO the Stranger was who healed the man?

(Woman Image: Courtesy of Frame Angel at FreeDigitalPhotos.net)

%d bloggers like this: