What Happens to Good Intentions?

248Easter weekend arrived, along with our extended family.

We gathered to celebrate the Risen Christ. Celebrate our family–four generations.

Great grandpa said grace and sliced the ham that Great Grandma baked. Aunts and uncles squeezed next to grown children around the dinner table.

Passed hot platters of meat and steaming bowls of vegetables. Piled potato salad on our plates. Poured tea. Passed the rolls.

As the one-year-old great grandchild munched on deviled eggs, the grown “kids” listened to reminisces: “Remember when?” “Back in my day….”

That weekend, old hearts reconnected, new spouses welcomed. Torches passed to the next generation. “Raise up your children in the way they should go.”

When we hugged goodbye, we left with good intentions.

“Let’s get together this summer.”

“I promise to email more often.”

“Call me!”

But I know as life returns to normal, busyness erases our good intentions.

Same thing happens after a spiritual retreat.

Fellowship with other believers. Allow God to speak through His Word. Worship Him through songs. Remember His faithfulness and love.

I can’t get enough of God. I return home with good intentions.

“I promise to pray more.”

“I’ll seek the Lord before I start each day.”

“I’m going to  ____Fill in the blank___”Read my Bible, join a Bible study, witness, Love God more….”

But as life returns to normal, busyness erases my good intentions.

Consequently, I become a slave to worry, fear, anger, malice. Find it difficult to trust God in my circumstances. Struggle to love. Wrestle with God’s will.

Need I say more?

But what a blessing to know when I fail to live up to my good intentions,

I can pray for the good things that God intends for us.

“I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better.

 I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people, and his incomparably great power for us who believe.

That power is the same as the mighty strength he exerted when he raised Christ from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms.” Ephesians 1:16-20

Truth Be Known

243Woke up depressed, but I have to go to jail, share the “hope that lies within me” with women inmates.

Can’t give what you don’t have?” Satan taunts me.

I get on my knees where the battle is won, and pray God’s Word aloud. “You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you!” (Isaiah 26:3)

Then I go out of obedience, not because I feel like it.

The jail tank is empty. Most of the women are asleep in their cells. I sit at the metal table and pray until a young woman joins me.

I confess my foul mood; explain I had to pray for the desire to come to jail. But I’m confident that as we read God’s Word and fix our minds on Him, our moods will change even if troubles remain.

Tears trickle down her cheeks. Woman admits she woke up thinking she should read her Bible, but didn’t “feel like it” which made her feel guilty. Knowing I struggle helps her know she’s not alone.

I assure her that Jesus struggled with mental anguish just before he was arrested in the Garden of Gethsemane. He had to pray and focus on God’s will rather than his own feelings.

So we open our Bibles to Luke 22: 66-71 and read about the trial.

The Council of elders confronts Jesus, ““If you are the Christ, tell us.”

Just like Satan tempted Jesus. “If you are the Son of God, tell this stone to become bread.”

Just like Satan taunts me. “If you’re a jail chaplain, where’s your hope?”

Just like Satan accuses the inmate: “If you don’t read the Bible, you’re bad.”

How does Jesus respond to Ifs.

Sometimes He quotes scripture.

Sometimes He asks questions.

During the trial, He states facts. “If I tell you, you will not believe.”

Again, they ask Him, “Are you the Son of God?”

“Yes, I am.”

Jesus condemns himself with his own words,

Because they feel that anyone who claims to be the “Son of God” is a liar or a lunatic.

They don’t believe Jesus is telling the truth when He claims to be Christ the Lord.

But disbelief doesn’t change the facts.

Jesus said, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.” (John 14:6)

Believe it, or not.


Looking for Self-Worth on a Wall?

Two walls stand in my home.

One wall is a reflection of who I am.

A sage-green wall covered with framed photographs of my family, frozen in time. Scattered among the living are snapshots of deceased ancestors from whence I came. They stare back at me with stern, sepia-colored faces. Next to these are plaques commending military service, certificates of appreciation, contests won.

Commonly known as an “I love Me Wall,” is it a showcase of my life? Or a subliminal need to affirm self-worth? No different than hanging children’s elementary artwork on the refrigerator.

See what I’ve done!

The other wall is a reminder of whose I am.

Where hangs unframed reproductions of two paintings: The Prodigal Son by Rembrandt, and Jesus Washing Peter’s Feet by Ford Madox Brown.

Bible passages captured on canvas ages ago with brushstrokes of oil paint. These art works were gifts, reminders of God’s love and mercy towards me.

See what GOD has done! And doing still…..

Why look for my worth in “things” represented on the “love me” wall?

When the ONE in whom I find my worth is revealed in the scripture behind these paintings.

A ragged, wretched son kneels in repentance at His father’s feet after squandering his inheritance. In his father’s welcoming arms, he receives forgiveness while the older brother watches in contempt.

 “I will get up and go to my father, and will say to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in your sight; I am no longer worthy to be called your son…’

“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him, and felt compassion for him, and ran and embraced him and kissed him.” (Luke 15:19, 20)

Head bowed, Jesus is on his knees washing the dusty, calloused feet of Simon Peter while the apostles watch in disbelief.

“Then He poured water into the basin, and began to wash the disciples’ feet and to wipe them with the towel…And so He came to Simon Peter who said to Him, ‘Lord, do You wash my feet?’… Jesus answered him, ‘If I do not wash you, you have no part with Me.’” (John 13:5-8)

Do likewise, He challenges the apostles. “Love one another as I have loved you.”

Two walls stand in my home.

One wall focuses on me.

The other wall points to the Lord.

The only ONE who is worthy to be praised.

What Am I Covering Up?

A large, purple plastic bowl lay upside down on the cement slab of our back patio. The bowl had been there for several days, untouched like the pile of discarded, mud-caked sneakers next to the back door.

Assuming the old bowl had toppled from the patio table, I stooped to pick it up.

My stomach lurched.

Beneath the purple bowl was a wet mess of rotting … cat puke.

My cat pleads the Fifth Amendment, but Someone covered the puke rather than clean it up.

“I didn’t want anyone to step into the mess,” Someone later explained.

Covered it up? Were you ever planning to clean it up?   

But even in this ….disgusting cat puke hidden beneath a purple bowl, I had an AHA moment about SIN.

Shuddered to think people, even those closest to me, might look “beneath my bowl” and see my disgusting sin.

Lips sealed, fingers crossed, do I hide sin behind good works? Masquerade as a good Christian, wearing blinders rather than confront my sin?

Out of sight, out of mind, I fool myself.

 “Oh God, you know my foolishness; and my sins are not hid from you (Psalm 69:5).

 “He that covers his sins shall not prosper; but whoever confesses and forsakes them shall have mercy” (Proverbs 28: 13).

King David, a man after God’s own heart, committed adultery and murder. When David covered his sin, he suffered.

“When I kept silent, my bones grew old through my groaning all the day long. For day and night Your hand was heavy upon me; my vitality was turned into the drought of summer” (Psalm 32:4)  

When David came to his senses, he humbly came before the Lord.

“I acknowledged my sin to You, and my iniquity I have not hidden. I said, ‘I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,’ and you forgave the iniquity of my heart” (verse 5).

Heaven forbid I cover my sin by comparing myself with others; pat myself on the back. I’m not as bad as….  

“Our Lord taught repeatedly that sin bottled up on the inside, concealed from everyone else’s view, carries the same guilt as sin that manifests itself in the worst forms of ungodly behavior (Matt. 5:21-30).” ~ John MacAuthur

The only remedy for sin involves uncovering our guilt.

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us ours sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).

Do I Treat God This Way?

Daily, I check my email, but the person rarely writes.

I search my Face Book page, hoping there’s a message, a comment, but the person only sends an occasional “like.”

Photos posted on Face Book assure me the person is indeed alive; just busy, there’s no time for me.

Unless there’s a problem, then my phone is guaranteed to ring. Suddenly, I’m expected to listen and empathize while that person cries and vents.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m glad I’m a safe place for that person. But there’s a pattern. I hang up feeling used. And I don’t like it.

But the behavior I dislike in someone else, points a finger back at me.

Do I Treat God This Way?

Daily, He watches me. He waits. He listens for my voice, hoping I’ll meet with Him. Seek His presence not His hand.

But often, I’m self-absorbed; too busy, no time for God.   

Unless there’s a problem; then I’m guaranteed to call on Him and beg…

Lord, help me!    Give Me!    Show me the way!    Fix my problem, TODAY!

Don’t get me wrong. God is my Rock, my Refuge, and Wonderful Counselor. But there’s a pattern. Does God feel used…by me?

Do I seek God for what He can do for me, or seek Him for Himself?

“O God, Thou art my God; I shall seek Thee earnestly; my soul thirsts for Thee, my flesh yearns for Thee, in a dry and weary land where there is no water.

desert

Thus I have beheld Thee in the sanctuary, to see Thy power and Thy glory. Because Thy loving kindness is better than life, my lips will praise Thee.” (Psalm 63:1-3)

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Do I meet with God to ask for more favors? Or do I ask for more of Him?

“O, Come, let us sing for joy to the Lord; Let us shout joyfully to the rock of our salvation. Let us come before His presence with thanksgiving; Let us shout joyfully to Him with psalms. For the Lord is a great God, And a great King above all gods.” (Psalm 95:1-3).

Saying and doing are two different animals.

However, in light of God’s Word, and the joy I’ve experienced being in His presence

Why wouldn’t I choose to seek God daily?