“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.” ~C.S.Lewis
“Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is LOVE.” 1 Corinthians 13:13
Our five-year-old grandson walked into his parents’ home and announced, “I had the funnest, best day in my whole life and whole world!”
His sleep-deprived mom and dad sat on the couch with their newborn infant. They smiled to acknowledge their son’s excitement, noting the new monster truck in his hands.
Our grandson continued in a rhythmic tone.
“We went to the store. We got my monster truck. We had ice cream. We went to the park. It was the funnest, best day in….”
“That does sound fun,” our daughter replied. But when she looked at us, her raised brow said, “You’re spoiling him.”
No argument there.
My husband and I had been in their home for ten days to help with meals, errands, and their five-year-old son who’d become a big brother. But as I went to the kitchen to prepare dinner, I wondered if our “help” would make their lives more uncomfortable after my husband and I returned home.
Our grandson would miss his fun grandparents all the more if we made every day feel like “Fun-Dar-Land.”
Also, returning to his daily routine would seem like an “Aftershock” because his parents don’t have the same freedom to make every day feel like “the funnest, best day in his whole life and whole world.”
Nor should they!
Spoiling is another word for overindulging which is the last thing we need to teach our kids in a self-centered world.
As I diced carrots, our grandson played with his toy cars. “Eee Ooo Eee Ooo. Vroom Vroom.”
We’d had a fun day with our grandson. We’d laughed, ran, played in the sand with his monster trucks. But did I want fun memories to be the end goal?
Quality time with our grandson is limited. So I want our memories worth remembering. To leave an enduring impression that outlasts a plastic monster truck.
Along with the fun, I hope he remembers—
Bringing Mommy flowers in her hospital room. Helping Grandpa make Brownies for my birthday. Bringing Papa wood for the outdoor fire pit. Helping Grandma carry books to the library. Singing to Baby Sister when she cried.
I hope our grandson enjoys his childhood. But I pray he’ll discover:
Helping other people can also be “the funnest, best day in our whole life and whole world.”
Even in this … overindulgent world.
“And I have been a constant example of how you can help those in need by working hard. You should remember the words of the Lord Jesus: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ ” Acts 20:35 NLT
For me, instead of owning the love, I camp on the words that follow that statement because it seems the person’s love (or approval) is contingent on something I do or don’t do.
When I raised kids, I probably said the same thing. “I love you, but . . . you need to clean your room, do your homework, behave.”
I assumed God spoke that way to me. “I love you, but . . .”
But, what? What do I need to do? As a performance-driven, people pleaser, I turned myself inside out to find the answer.
Do I need to earn my salvation?
No, “For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, that no one should boast” (Ephesians 2:8,9).
Do I need to earn God’s love?
No, “God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8).
Maybe I need to be a better Christian so I don’t lose God’s love.
And the Loving God who calls me “Beloved” assures me, “Nothing can separate you from my love” (Romans 8:35-39).
You see, I spent years learning God’s Word, but I had to believe God.
Imagine my relief and the mind-blowing joy to know that I know—God loves. There is no if, and, or but!
Hold onto this truth no matter what your feelings or circumstances suggest otherwise. Even in this…coming new year!
It’s my pleasure to welcome my new-found friend and fellow writer, Joy Williams, as my guest blogger. Her passion is sharing the life-changing truths about the grace of God in Christ. Joy’s words bless me because she always points me to Christ. Welcome Joy even in this……..
I’m hopeful when a friendship begins. I’m grateful when a friendship grows. But I’m hurt and perplexed when a friendship shifts.
During a recent conversation with a friend, awkwardness hung over every word. Our once familiar space felt foreign to me.
It was evident our friendship was changing. We’ve been friends for years, but now phone calls are fewer. Texts are shorter. Sharing has become shallow.
If you’ve ever had a friendship shift, you know the symptoms: Disruption followed by silence or distance followed by absence.
Sometimes it’s by mutual understanding; when the busyness of life competes with our priorities. Other times, it’s a natural progression; for example, when a friend moves away or moves into a new phase of life. But it can also happen as a painful reaction to something that was done or said.
Regardless of what’s causing my friendship shift, I miss my friend. I miss the way we used to laugh at the same thing and hurt over similar things. The pace of our lives changes, new needs constantly surface and new priorities often appear. Yet, I believe…
A true friend loves regardless of the situation, and a real brother exists to share the tough times. – Proverb 17:17 Voice
How can friends remain true in every circumstance?
I believe tough times provide the biggest opportunity. However, if much of our time is spent second guessing and fault finding, the toughest thing to share could be an honest conversation about how we really feel.
When friendships fail to adapt to what’s new, it’s hard to hold onto what was.
I want to rally around the Proverbs 17:17 cry. But I don’t want to rally alone. However, John 15:12-13 reminds us friendship requires selflessness and even sacrifice. Jesus was willing to lay down His life for His friends. Now, I find it hard just to pick up the phone to call her.
Help me to do better Jesus.
Help me show her You, Jesus. You show love to the failing and compassion to the weak.
You show love and compassion to me.
Some friendships are for a reason. Some are for a season and some are for a lifetime. It’s a familiar saying, but it’s not always easy to know the reasons behind a season in a friendship.
However, I do know where to take my hurting heart. I’m taking it straight to Jesus.
He helps me sort through my emotions. He forgives my faults. He offers His counsel for my regrets. Until…
I have the words to express His heart.
The heart to hold His compassion.
His peace for this friendship’s path.
If you’re feeling a friendship shift too, here’s some good news: People fail each other; but Jesus never will. He knows how to mend what’s broken in and around us. I’m praying for friendships to heal and to become powerful places to share hope for the heart and joy to the soul.
Joy A. Williams is a writer, speaker and the author of Friendship MAPS: A Journey through Maturity, Aspirations, Perspectives and Struggles. Through her weekly blog, she encourages sincere or side-tracked truth seekers with “hope for the heart and joy to the soul” atjoyAwilliams.com. You can also connect with Joy on Twitter @joytothesoul or on Facebookfb.me/joytothesoul.
My friend sniffs, pausing in the middle of her story to get a tissue from her purse.
I wait beside her in the coffee shop.
Mute. Helpless.
Watching huge tears travel down her cheeks like raindrops rolling down a window pane.
She wipes her trail of tears, and I wonder…
Isn’t there a Bible verse about collecting tears in a bottle?
I swallow the knot in my throat. Blink back my own tears.
What can I say to encourage her?
Offer to pray with her?
Quote a Bible verse?
Assure her everything will be alright.
When honestly, I don’t know how things will turn out.
I touch her arm, but hold my tongue. Fearful of being like Job’s friends. Full of platitudes.
Can she feel my empathy? My longing to make things better?
Perhaps it’s enough I’m here to listen.
My friend eventually changes the subject. Mood lightens. Similar to shifting gears on a bicycle after you’ve pedaled on rough terrain and the landscape flattens out.
We hug; agree to pray for one another. Then go our separate ways.
Nothing changed. Nothing solved.
But just the act of sharing—the good, bad, and ugly—lifts our burdens. If only for the moment.
Spirits strengthened. Eyes fixed again on Jesus. We advance into the night….
Trusting a Sovereign God.
Thankful we’re not alone, even if our friends haven’t walked in our shoes or can fully comprehend the pain.
Consider the Virgin Mary who conceived a son and then went in a hurry to visit Elizabeth.
When Elizabeth heard Mary, she “cried out with a loud voice and said, ‘Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb” (Luke 1:42).
Surely those words were exactly what Mary needed to hear.
Mary didn’t have to grieve alone.
Years later, when Jesus was dying on a cross, He saw His mother, and the disciple whom He loved standing nearby.
“He said to His mother, ‘Woman, behold, your son!’
“Then He said to the disciple, ‘Behold, your mother!’
“From that hour the disciple took her into his own household” (John 19:26, 27).
Mary didn’t have to grieve alone.
Mary Magdalene among others was also there beside her.
Even In This 