What Matters Most

Last Wednesday, I flew from California to North Carolina (via Houston) for a She Speaks Conference. I was in the air about six hours. My travel day from the time I left home and arrived to the hotel took twenty-seven hours.

Waiting in an airport terminal was not my first choice however, if you read my last blog, you know I wanted the Lord to teach me no matter the cost.

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Rather than focus on my circumstances and become disgruntled, I chose to surrender my desire to have what I want NOW!

Instead of trying to be patient, I chose to abide in the Lord and experience patience which is the fruit of the Holy Spirit.

I cringe to say those words—I don’t want to sound self-righteous. But after years of striving to be a good Christian, I discovered the easier path is abiding in the Lord.

Abiding is how we become more like Christ….loving, compassionate, merciful, patient…which is God’s predestined will for those He has called.

The Holy Spirit does the work, but my poor attitude often slows the progress.

Only this time, I didn’t choose a one-woman pity party. Instead, I prayed for an eternal perspective while I traveled, and I asked to see people through God’s eyes.

He enlarged my vision.

I found myself drawn particularly to the people who served me at the airport and the hotel. Whether they were a maid, a busboy, a cashier, a waitress…..they each wore a name tag so I was able to call them by name. We’d smile, and exchange pleasantries.

Friendliness is contagious.

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Although my goal was to attend a conference to hone my writing and speaking skills, God taught me to do what matters most. Love one another.

My return flight home went without a glitch. Or so I thought. My traveling companion was on a different airline. Her flight was delayed by four hours.

My skin grew warm when I read my friend’s text. The thought of waiting in the airport terminal till three o’clock drained my last ounce of reserve. I’d been awake since 3:30 a.m. East Coast time, and had gone nonstop four days.

Was I going to wallow in self-pity or abide in Christ?

I sat down at a restaurant in the airport terminal—which began to feel like home—and asked the waitress,

“What’s your name? How long have you worked here?”

As I listened to Lynn’s story unfold, waiting on a flight seemed minuscule.

I’m thankful for the myriad of men and women I met last week, and the opportunity to show small acts of kindness.

God is so patient with me. And He can use everything—even waiting in an airport terminal—to teach me what matters most.

What the Lord has in Store?

20140714_203434I’m waiting in the airport terminal for a Red Eye flight to Houston. It takes off in twelve hours.

That’s right. I arrived five hours ago, but I’m traveling standby and the flights are full.

Is this a joke?

This morning, my Facebook status said: “Going to a She Speaks conference in North Carolina; can’t wait to see what the Lord has in store.”

Is this what the Lord had in store for me?

Not what I imagined. Nor what I desire, but it is what it is.

I always told my kids to make lemonade out of lemons.  Okay, Karen, start squeezing.

I have a Bible, a reading book, a laptop. What more do I need?

But I want to do more than fill empty space, or count down the minutes.

What would the Lord have me learn in this situation?

Patience? Flexibility? Humor?

I’m not laughing.

I arrived three hours early for my flight so I could drive a friend of mine to catch her flight. She’s sipping water now at 35,000 feet. Where’s her faith lesson?

Sorry Lord, my eyes went horizontal.

Normally, when I travel alone, I pray to  view people through God’s eyes so I might offer a word of encouragement.

I ask for ears to hear His voice. Never know when He’s going to impress some truth upon my heart.

In answer to those prayers, I have experienced indescribable God moments that assure me–He’s real and present even in the most absurd situations.

However, I know previous epiphanies don’t mean I’ll witness the Lord in action today.

Perhaps I’ll sit here, idle and killing time, with nothing to show for it. I’ll board the plane at the end of the day, weary and confused.

Really, Lord? Was it necessary for me to miss my flight? I was going to this conference to learn how to speak for you.

My flesh says “such is life.” Bad things happen. If waiting for a Red Eye flight is the worst thing that happens today, no problem.

My heart observes life with an eternal perspective.

I believe that nothing is wasted…not even sitting in an airport terminal for umpteen hours…if it increases my faith or I can be used by God.

“Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.” 1st Thessalonians 5:18

I glance at my fellow road warriors who are waiting on delayed flights. What is their perspective? Does grumbling change a thing?

For me, the bottom line isn’t what happens to me, but how I respond.

Sitting in the airport isn’t my first choice, but while I’m here, I’ll make the best of it.

And ask the Lord to teach me no matter the cost.

Even in this.

Are You Still There?

Words poured from the woman’s heart like a broken water main. I waited for her to catch her breath so I could interject my thoughts over the phone.

Finally, a pregnant pause followed by her whimper. “Are you still there?”

“I’m here,” I assured her. “I’m just listening.”

Lately, I feel like that woman. I’m venting to the Lord, but He’s not saying anything. Lord, are you still there?

I imagine the Lord would speak more often if I’d be still and listen. And yet, there are times when I hold my tongue.

Desperate for wisdom or direction, I wait for the Holy Spirit to speak to me through scripture. Or I long for the joy and satisfaction of His fellowship.

Only, sometimes God appears silent.

The longer He’s silent, the more I feel estranged from the One I’ve come to love and depend upon.

I plead like David, “Don’t toss me aside, banished forever from your presence. Don’t take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me again the joy of your salvation….” (Psalm 51:11-12)

More silence.

So I remind myself to believe God and trust He is with me even in the deafening silence.

“Faith is especially required in times of silence as we wait for the intimacy of God.”

That’s what my mentor and friend, Loretta, told me years ago when she felt “God was silent and in the wings.”

Which is why Ephesians 6:13 tells us to “use every piece of God’s armor to resist the enemy whenever he attacks….But to do this, you will need the—

ü  Strong belt of truth

ü  Breastplate of righteousness

ü  Shoes able to speed you on as you preach the Gospel.

ü  Shield of Faith to extinguish the flaming arrows of the evil one.

ü  Helmet of salvation

ü  Sword of the Spirit—which is the Word of God.

Putting on the armor of God is a daily task like brushing our teeth because the enemy doesn’t retreat. He knows my Achilles heel, the weakest spot to attack my faith.

When God appears silent or like He’s “watching from a distance,” Satan shoots flaming arrows aimed at my limited understanding to make me doubt—

God’s love. God’s mercy. God’s presence.

The SHIELD OF FAITH is my best defense.

Faith STOPS the fiery arrows from hitting their mark because “faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” (Hebrews 11:1)

Faith enables me to believe God is present even when He Appears Silent.

Just now, my cell phone rings, interrupting the silence as I finish this blog. The voice coming through the receiver is a sister in Christ who lives in South Dakota. We haven’t spoken with each other in a year.

My skin tingles. This is a Divine Appointment. God’s perfect timing.

He knows I need a word of encouragement, so He sends a friend I’m least expecting to talk with me.

And while we’re on the phone, the Lord enters our midst and makes Himself known.

Faith extinguishes the doubts as we pray to the Glorious One who always listens—even when He appears silent. 

How do you respond when God appears silent?

Am I Looking at Me?

IMG_4640Two years ago, I wrote about the murder of my Japanese maple.

Murder sounds melodramatic, but that’s how I felt when someone chopped down my tree. “Too close to the house; gets in the way of the footpath.”

Foul words spewed from my lips. I stomped away from the scene of the crime. No one dared follow me. Friends assured me, “I don’t blame you. I’d be mad too.”

Self-justification didn’t make me feel better. I was broken afterwards, knowing if someone pushes the right button—I’ll turn into Gollum.

I only bring this up because I’m resting in the cool shade of my yard while two squirrels cavort among the trees. Birds swoop down to drink from the bird bath. All’s well with my world and my soul.

BUT, push the right button with a critical thought, a fearful what if, a broken sprinkler head, a chopped down Japanese maple—and my happy world evaporates like a desert mirage.

Circumstances pushed my buttons last week. I was stretched like taffy beyond my comfort zone. God’s grace enabled me to control my behavior, but I was mentally having a nuclear meltdown.

And yet, I want to reflect an inward peace that doesn’t vacillate with my circumstances.

So if God’s Word tells me to trust Him even in this—then I need to believe Him. For my life experience has proven over and over and over again, that God is faithful. There is no circumstance where He is not present.

As a believer in Christ, His Spirit dwells within me. When I seek God’s face, He is kind enough to show me the reality of His manifested presence.

Only, too often I’m preoccupied—thinking about me and my circumstance instead of Him.

He will keep in perfect peace all those who trust in him, whose thoughts turn often to the Lord!” (Isaiah 26:3 TLB)

Do I believe it? If so, I’ll trust the Lord and think of Him often. That’s the key to perfect peace, resting in the cool shade of God’s protective hand when life heats up. Or buttons are pushed.

I mentioned my murdered Japanese maple that led to a broken spirit. Would you believe that same tree has been resurrected? It’s sprouting from the small stump that was left in the ground.

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I laughed, and praised the Lord. He doesn’t hold my mistakes and meltdowns over my head. He uses them to teach me and change me.

Unlike Jack’s magical beanstalk, there is no hallelujah pill that will make me grow godly overnight. The only Miracle Grow is the Holy Spirit working within me, to mold me into the likeness of God’s Son. 

If removing a Japanese maple helps me grow, then chop away, Lord!

What circumstance in your life, is God using to make you grow?

For Better or Worse

BoquetThis is a re-post from last June. I’ve updated the years, but the sentiment remains true.

Like many couples getting married in June, I too was a blushing bride…thirty five years ago.

This morning, after my shower, I wanted to wish my husband a “Happy Anniversary.” He was on the back patio reading the news off his laptop.

No bridal gown today. Dressed in a frumpy, white bathrobe, my hair was wet and tangled. No  makeup. And I’m twenty-two pounds heavier than the day I said “I do.”

 Half-joking, I pointed to my dowdy appearance, “For better or worse!”

“That’s okay.” My husband teased. “My eyesight isn’t as good as the day we married.”

On June 30th, 1979 we made a covenant before God and became one flesh. God’s grace, a sense of humor, loyalty, communication, and selflessness kept us together. Prayer was also necessary to soften our hearts towards each other during hard times.

Today, I studied my husband’s unshaven face, his graying hair, the laugh lines around his blue eyes. It’s difficult to imagine my life without him walking beside me.

Praise God, I didn’t call it quits whenever my husband rubbed me the wrong way, crimped my style. I’m blessed to find a husband who loves me when I least deserve it, never keeps an account of the things I’ve done wrong.

No wonder marriage is the image God uses to illustrate the relationship between Christ and His Church. Wedding vows are worth remembering, when marriage seems too familiar.

“I, Karen, take thee, Dan, to be my wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God’s holy ordinance; and thereto I pledge thee my faith/myself to you.”

The words are similar to God’s irrevocable covenant with His beloved.

I, Yahweh, the Great I Am, take Karen, to be the Bride and Body of Christ.

To have and to hold…: “I will never leave you or forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5)

For better, or worse: “My grace is enough for you….” (2 Corinthians 12:9)

To love and to cherish: “I have loved you with an everlasting love.” (Jeremiah 31:3)

Till death do us part: “Neither death or life can separate you from the love of God.”(Romans 8:38, 39)

According to my Holy plan, I pledge myself to you.

“Blessed are those who are invited to the wedding supper of the Lamb!” (Rev. 19:9)

Have you been invited?