Empty nest and letting go was the subject of my previous post. Granted my home is quieter, but the house doesn’t feel as empty as my soul.
It’s like God moved away and didn’t leave a forwarding address. And I can’t muster the energy to seek Him.
Tell me you’ve been there too because admitting I’m spiritually lukewarm and lethargic isn’t a piece of cake.
After all, I write about seeing the Lord in my everyday circumstances, and wanting more of Him. So how can I write when I’m unable to experience the reality of His presence?
More important, how can I live well and be in God’s will without seeking His presence?
I know that nothing can separate me from the love of God.
I’m not depressed. I’m not bored. If anything, I’ve allowed busyness and frivolity to fill the void of God’s absence.
And yet, what did I expect would happen? Who moved away from whom?
Earlier this year, I had a forever friend who gave me the silent treatment. She didn’t return my phone texts. She was unavailable to meet with me. I finally confronted her, “What have I done to make you pull away?”
Her response, “I’m hurt. I don’t want to be somebody you meet on occasion before you’re off to the next person or thing. When did I become an obligation instead of someone you want to be with?”
Her words struck a chord. For I was guilty of indifference; taking our friendship for granted.
Perhaps I’m guilty again.
- Have I taken my relationship with the Lord for granted? Or do I remember I’m not my own. I was bought with a price, Christ’s precious blood. (1 Corinthians 6:20).
- Is my worship of God, Almighty a morning discipline or my heart’s desire?
- Have I’ve neglected to meet with the Lord because I’m pursuing other things: the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life? (1 John 2:16)
I only know I can’t go for very long before I miss the Lord.
He alone can restore to me the joy of His salvation (Psalm 51:12).
For in His presence is fullness of joy (Psalm 16:11).
I know because I have been there. I’ve tasted and seen the Lord is good. (Psalm 34:8)
And I’m selfish enough to want to go there again.
Thanks for being transparent, Karen. No, you’re not alone. I think anyone who says they’ve never felt the way you’ve described is either lying or delusional. It’s at the times I feel like that, I have to remind myself that not only is God in the silence as you friend mentioned but He’s there in the darkness as well. I have to say those truths out loud so that not only will the enemy hear me saying it but my own heart will hear it and begin to remember. One of my favorite sayings is “What my mouth says, my ears hear, and my heart believes.”
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In addition to the kind comments on my blog post, I recently read something from the book Seeking the face of God that touched my heart. The author said there are different spiritual terrains. “We can’t expect the same from ourselves when we’re going uphill as when we’re going downhill.Just because we seem to be struggling more doesn’t mean there is a hidden sin or that we’ve lost our faith or that we have grown lukewarm; it could simply mean we are traveling uphill, and until the terrain flattens out, we’re going to be going forward with great effort.”
Susan, I think I’ve been running uphill a lot this past year.
Grace is in order! And as advised, my need to rest in the Lord.
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I feel the SAME way. Your words were precious to me this. Morning. Thanks, Susan
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Thank you Susan, for letting me know I’m not alone in this. I’d be concerned if I didn’t have the Psalms to read. David often felt the same way, but he kept his eyes on the Lord! For we know, this too shall pass.
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My Sister .. Its not selfishness to rest in the presence of God .. We all want to dance in Fields of Grace and there is a season for dancing … There is also a season of waiting and stillness .. This is where trusting God in Faith cones in .. We wait .. Pray .. Listen .. We will hear God when it is our time .. Rest my friend HE is with you in the silence
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“He is with you in the silence.” I know these words are true. I’ve said the exact same thing. Sometimes, however, the stillness numbs us and we need to be reminded by someone else. Thank you for the encouragement. 🙂
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Morning. after re-reading my thoughts I hope I did not come off as the wagging finger – truly I have felt numb and far from the Lord many times – BE STILL AND KNOW I AM GOD is one of my favorite verses – hopefully my thoughts came across as recognizing your frustration and gently guiding you towards patience – GOD BLESS your journey
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No offense taken. I knew exactly what you were saying. I know I can always trust you to uplift and speak the truth in love. Blessings.
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Blessings to you my friend
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