Tag: Prayer

The C Word

Heard the C word again; the one that fills the human heart with dread.

The C word that forces me to “lean not on my own understanding”

But rest in a sovereign God.

He tells me surgery is scheduled, but the doctor’s optimistic prognosis doesn’t slay the inner demons swimming in the back of the mind:

What if ?

Dwelling on the problem instead of the Lord,

Feeds FEAR and makes it grow into a gIANT   that only faith can slay.

“For the Lord your God will hold your right hand saying to you, ‘Fear not. I will help you.’” (Isaiah 41:13)

  • Fear not, even if it’s cancer.
  • Fear not, I will hold your right hand.
  • Fear not, I will help you.

I cling to that promise like a blanket and fall asleep, one ear listening for the phone to ring.

And it does ring, waking me up just as dawn appears on my horizon and bird song fills the air.

A weary monotone voice greets me from a thousand miles away where skies are blue, but not for him.

I feel the weight of the world on his shoulders as he waits for his wife’s operation to be over, and the lab results to show good news.

Words stick in my throat as I search for the right thing to say.

“May I pray with you?”

Instead of holding warm-blooded hands, I grip the cold metal of my cell phone and …

  •  Plead to the heavens on his behalf.
  • Pray to the Lord who is an ever present help in times of trouble.
  • Claim God’s promises that are true.

“When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. (Isaiah 43:2)

If only I could crawl through the phone, and sit beside him. Show that I care beyond words. But I can’t.

So I hang up and do what I can.

  • Bow my head and pray some more.
  • Sound the trumpet so my fellow saints will pray too.
  • Rely on the Holy Spirit who dwells within my friend to do what I can’t.

Be his strength in weakness;

          give him grace that is enough,

                 guard his mind with the peace that surpasses human understanding.

Even in this ……

What’s the Expiration Date of a Prayer?

IMG_4945Slumped on the ground among my Irises, I wanted to quit.

I’d spent almost three hours trying to fix my drip-line sprinklers while a platoon of blood-thirsty mosquitoes dive-bombed my forearms.

On the brink of surrender, a Praying Mantis landed nearby.

His prayer-like posture and calm repose made me realize how easily I’m defeated in the dirt and sweat of life.

Reminded me that prayer is vital, it’s not a last resort.

“Be earnest and unwearied and steadfast in your prayer [life], being [both] alert and intent in [your praying] with thanksgiving. (Colossians 4: 2)

Earnest, unwearied, steadfast, alert, intent, thankful…hardly describes my prayer life these days.

More like good intentions, and microwave prayers that make me grumble if I don’t see immediate results.

Knowing God’s Word regarding prayer, impacts how I pray.

But knowing ain’t the same as PRAYING……….

I can be a Prayer Warrior or a Prayer Wimp.

A warrior is a brave, experienced fighter.

A wimp is a weak, timid coward.

Why would I choose the latter?

Knowing I can “come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.” (Hebrews 14:6)

 If there’s a problem, maybe it’s because

  • My prayers have an expiration date.

        I’ve been praying for this situation for two months. It’s impossible. Nothing’s going to change. I give up.

  •         I make excuses why I don’t pray.

       I promised that person I’d pray for them, but I forgot. Besides, I don’t know what to pray. God knows their needs better than I do.

  •          I dodge prayers so I don’t have to obey.

        I should pray for _Fill in the blank_ but I’m afraid God will say, “NO!”

       I’d pray but I’m afraid God will tell me to forgive that person.

  •     I neglect specific prayers to avoid disappointment.

        I’d rather pray Thy Will Be Done and accept what comes than ask for specific…test results, needs, healing, loved one’s salvation…because if God doesn’t come through, my faith might flounder.

But God is faithful. Last week, He used a Praying Mantis to get my attention, and answered a prayer through an unlikely person when I least expected it.

That’s how I KNOW that God sees me and loves me.

Just like Hagar who “gave this name to the LORD who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.” (Genesis 16:13).

Photo by: Jennifer Wrede

Ears to Hear

My daughter, the bride, had been gone all day shopping for her wedding when I text-ed her from home: “Be sure to Stop and Eat.”

She returned my text: “How did you know?”

I replied, “Because the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.”

IMG_5693Since Thanksgiving, wedding plans in addition to getting ready for Christmas and out-of-town guests, made me feel like Santa who’s “making a list and checking it twice.” Only the list never seemed to end.

I had to make myself STOP and FEAST on God’s Word. With my soul fed, I was able to continue the race for one more day. I admit my running took greater priority as the month wore on, but still, I’d attempt to grab a morsel of scripture, breathe a prayer.

My husband calls me a Jack Russell Terrier. Like those dogs, my personality leans towards hyper when I have an agenda. When I take the time to “Be still” and sit at my Master’s feet, I’m calm, but only momentarily. The doorbell rings, and I’m running and yapping again.

Knowing I would get overwhelmed, hosting a wedding and Christmas dinner within three days of each other, I did not want to be a Jack Russell Terrier. I prayed to have “the mind of Christ,” to be loving, kind, humble, have a servant’s heart.

I even embraced the advice of a Safeway clerk who told me “major on the majors and minor on the minors.”

“People won’t remember what you served for dinner,” she said, as she handed me a two-foot grocery receipt. “They’ll remember being together, and how you welcomed them into your home.”

She was right.

The wedding day was beautiful beyond words even for this author, but by Christmas day, I was running on empty. I could only “major on the majors.”

Whenever my pride pointed out my shortcomings, minor things became major in my head which led to fear of what others thought about me.

Pride and fear are NOT the “mind of Christ.”

So instead of listening to the tape of accusations in my head, I asked God to breathe for me and listened to the …

Laughter in the room as the bride and groom’s two families became one.

Twelve voices singing  carols to celebrate our Lord’s birth.

Spoken prayers and stories shared.

Love and joy fill the air.

By God granting me ears to hear, the Jack Russell Terrier within me remained more calm even in this.

“He keeps in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusts in thee.” Isaiah 26:3

My Space

     The young girl within me giggled when I walked into the hotel room. It was immaculate. And there was a king-size bed just for me.  I plopped down on the pillow-top mattress.

I can watch whatever on television. I can stay up late reading. I can eat crackers in bed…it’s all my space.

Odd those ten hours of space would trigger my emotions.

I remember being a child on family vacations. Long hours driving down the highway in our Ford station wagon. My younger brother stretches out on the back bench seat, his feet crossing the imaginary line we agreed upon.

“Mommm, tell R…to get on his own side!”

As a teenager, if little brother walked into my bedroom uninvited,“Mom, tell R… to get out of my room!”

In my twenties, two spaces became one. Not only did I have to share my personal space, so did the groom. After the honeymoon, I had to ask, “Honey, may I have some closet space for my clothes?”

Then the children arrived and there was no space. They thought nothing of knocking on my bathroom door.

“Mommy!”

“Can’t it wait?”

“Tell J….to leave me alone.”

Now that two of our children are grown, I have more space. But some days I want it all to myself. Don’t ask me why. I only know, for one night I had my space. And it was good.

Then came self-imposed guilt.

I thought of the excellent wife described in Proverbs 31. According to verses 15 and 18, she didn’t have any space. The woman “gets up while it is still dark, and her lamp does not go out at night.”

Then again, perhaps we aren’t so different. Many a day, I rose while it was “still dark” to feed my babies and rock them back to sleep. Plenty of “nights” I stayed awake to stroke my children’s feverish brows.

As on-call wife and mom, I carved my space out of early mornings and midnight hours. Then I learned to share that space with God.

How can a woman be a good steward, serve her family, and minister to the needy without enough space?

The same way Jesus handled the masses and moments of each day.

“Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place where he prayed” (Mark 1:35 NIV).

Need space? Rise early while it’s still dark, and pray…

Even in this season of life.

Put on the Oxygen Mask

By Saturday morning, I was tapped out.

All week, I had been with people. Serving some. Listening to others vent. Now I needed to visit jail for one-on-one counseling, but I had nothing left to give.

My head pounded. My body was like a limp rag. How can I share the gospel when I can barely remember my name? I had to reschedule.

Too often, helping humanity seems more exhausting than yard work or housework. My back may ache as I pull weeds or push a mop, but I’m on autopilot. At the end of the task, I feel productive, even energized.

When it comes to people, particularly listening to their problems, I’m drained. That’s because I absorb people’s moods like a sponge. Think I can fix them. Fall back into people pleasing.

“You’re an answer to prayer,” someone told me, after I resolved her problem. Now I have the problem.

Practically speaking, I must:

Set boundaries

Stop rescuing

Say NO…without guilt.

Spiritually speaking, I must:

Meditate on the Word

Ask for Wisdom

Obey God’s Will 

   In Mark 1: 21-38, Jesus spent the day in Capernaum healing many people with various diseases, and casting out demons. Verse 33 says “the whole city had gathered at the door.” So how did Jesus avoid burn out?

 Verse 35:  “And in the early morning, while it was still dark, He arose and went out to a lonely place, and was praying there.” 

Simon hunts for Jesus and says, “everyone is looking for you.” But prayer was a priority. Jesus understood His purpose (verse 38) and wasn’t going to be derailed by everyone’s demands.

If Jesus, in his humanity, had to pray and seek the Father’s will, then I must:

  • Have the mind of Christ so I can…
  • Have a sacrificial servant’s heart so I can…
  • Have His love and strength to help others without sabotaging myself. 

Bottom line, I must:

Remember prayer gives me a right perspective so I can respond properly to my relationships and problems. 

In other words, “Put on your own oxygen mask before helping others.”

And take a deep spiritual breath.