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Remember When

Miles and miles of asphalt stretch like black ribbon across the arid land of southern Arizona.

As my vehicle transports me westward through Tucson, memory carries me backwards when I called this city home. Its mountain range was the scenic backdrop during the bulk of my childhood. I dream about it still.

If time wasn’t a factor, I’d spend the day searching for landmarks, hoping my memories remained reality. Is the rope swing still hanging from the tree? Are the neighbors the same? Would Buttons, our black and white cat, be sitting on the backyard fence?

Remembrance brings tears.  Wishing I could travel back in time. Knowing I can’t.

Sweet memories rise like creme to the surface, negating any bad remembrances. But is anything gained by looking at yesterday? Lessons learned? Friendships made? Turning points …

My heart flutters. Jesus Christ became my Lord and Savior when I lived in Tucson. It was here I received my first Bible: a white leather, King James Version, with my name engraved on the front cover. I remember the desire He planted in my twelve-year-old heart to follow Him, know Him.

Not remember?

How could I walk this earthly journey “by faith and not by sight” if I didn’t recall God’s faithfulness during my life?

His Word repeatedly says, “Remember”…

  • “The deeds of the LORD and His miracles of long ago” (Psalm 77:11).
  • “God is our Rock; that God Most High is our Redeemer” (Psalm 78:35).
  • “Life is fleeting” (Psalm 89:47).
  • “To obey God’s commands” (Numbers 15:40).
  • “Words the Lord Jesus himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive‘ ” (Acts 20:35).
  • “Jesus Christ, raised from the dead, descended from David. This is my gospel…” (2 Tim. 2:8).
  • “The poor” (Galatians 2:10).
  • “Each other in prayer” (2 Tim. 1:3).
  • “Those in prison” (Hebrews 13:3).
  • “Your leaders, who spoke the Word of God to you...” (Heb. 13:7).

Plus the multitude of scripture which says “God remembers.” He remembers His people, His covenant, His promises.

A highway patrol car passes on my left, pulling thoughts back to the moment. New homes and freeway overpasses show the city is expanding. In my mid-teens, I moved away. But Tucson isn’t a ghost town or stuck in the past. It’s progressing, thriving like me after all these years.

And God, the Redeemer who sought a twelve-year-old girl in Tucson, is still leading me on the highway of life.

Jesus Christ, the Alpha and Omega. The beginning and the end. 

That’s something to remember every day.

Remembering Him, even in this……

Road Trip

Sun rises over southern New Mexico, painting the canvas sky lavender and pink. On the horizon, a train chugs along the tracks against the backdrop of a rocky plateau shaped like a sleeping dog. My mind records the scene, soon etched into memory.

Our car on cruise control, heads 10 West through a parched land, the property of roadrunners and rattlesnakes. We are not alone. Dozens of heavy-weight semi trucks lumber beside us in the right lane, driven by faceless men behind tinted glass.

I’ve traveled this highway twice before, heading from Texas to California. It’s a long, mostly desolate journey, broken up by welcomed rest stops and remote gas stations. Small towns, hosting McDonald’s yellow arches, are an oasis to weary travelers.

By noon,  our black car bakes beneath the sun’s rays as the dusty wind slaps the car. We pray for safety, and God’s leading as we travel home. Who knows if the car will hold up. Or what’s waiting around the bend. Even the best-laid plans and preparations can go awry.

Confirming our fearful what ifs, we see vehicle mishaps along the interstate. An overturned truck lying in a ditch, an RV stranded on the side of the road, and someone changing a flat tire. Could be us…..

We check directions on the GPS.  How much longer till we’re there? Is there cell phone service? Enough gas?

The cab of a semi truck is being towed. It’s windshield smashed, and written on the passenger door in giant ink: JESUS IS LORD AND SAVIOR. What happened? Is the driver alright? Did he also pray for travel mercies?

Nerves tense. Being a Christian doesn’t prevent “bad things from happening” on the road of life. But like Simon Peter told Jesus when others walked away, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life; and we have believed, and have come to know, that you are the Holy One of God” (John 6:68).

Not knowing the future, we press on because we know Who holds our future. And we know that  Jesus, our Lord and Savior, is present even in this…………..

A road trip in a dry, desolate landscape littered with small cacti that remind me of sheep grazing  in a brown field.

And the knowing makes me rejoice.

Still the One

Open Bible. Read His Word. Pray.

I’ve got the routine down. But this morning I’m only going through the motions.

Check my spiritual pulse. It’s as though I’m flat line_____.

No inspiration. No spark.

Need the Holy Spirit to jump start my heart.

Driving to jail for Bible study, I pray, “Lord, restore to me the joy of Thy salvation.” How do I show others Your power when I feel the lack?

Can’t trust my feelings. Hold onto the facts.

Twenty women dressed in red, with faces hard as the concrete walls. Television blares. Inmates engrossed in board games ignore me. Loathe who I am.

I wait until one adventurous soul brings her Bible and joins me at the table. And then another. We are three women gathered in His name. Take turns reading Scripture aloud because God’s word “will not return to Him empty, Without accomplishing what He desires…” (Isaiah 55:11).

One time a paralyzed man came to Jesus for healing, but first Jesus forgave the man’s sins. “Which is easier,” Jesus said, “to say to the paralytic ‘your sins are forgiven,’ or to say, ‘arise and take up your pallet and walk?’ But in order that you may know the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins –He said to the paralytic-– ‘I say to you rise, take up your pallet, and go home’ ” (Mark 2:9-11).

And he did. More important, his sins were forgiven. Just like myself and two inmates.

His Spirit lives within us. But the goal is to let His Spirit reign.

We read, discuss, and pray. Three lit candles shining in the dark. Not knowing someone watches and waits to come to the table, drawn by the light.

“Will you pray for me?” the woman asks when the other two have left.

Like the paralytic, she wants the tangible rather than eternal. Prefers a prayer request instead of a personal relationship. Still I pray, hoping she’ll seek Jesus who rescues sinners and then answers prayers.

I leave the room. Hurry down a long hallway, listening to my heels click on the cement floor. Watch the video cameras watching me.

Metal doors snap unlock so I can open and close. One door after another until at last I’m on the outside.  I soak up the sun’s warmth as a fresh breeze brushes my face.

I feel His pleasure, the joy of His salvation.

Because Jesus is the Living God. Still healing. Still forgiving.

Telling me, “Arise.”

Unable to Connect

Remember life before the internet? I know a few people who’ve chosen not to have a personal computer, or refuse to get a Facebook account, or pay their bills online. They function quite well. But I’m so dependent on the internet that I wonder: could I go back?

Back to the days I relied on the postal mail to bring news from my loved ones.  Back to waiting for the right time of day to telephone someone long distance to keep the cost down.

Turning on my computer each morning is habitual as brushing my teeth. I rely on the internet to read the news, govern my finances and communicate with loved ones. Unless of course, these words appear on my computer screen: “Sorry, you’re unable to connect to the internet.”

My inability to Google throws me into a quandary until I resolve the problem.

Too often, my perceived need to connect with the world competes with my desire to commune with God. I intend to read my Bible and pray, but first I want to check my email. Check my family’s Facebook status. Check world events. Check my bank account… The list woos me into submission until I’m lost in cyberspace. And there’s no space left for relationship with God.

Recently, I succumbed to my flesh and turned on the laptop before I opened my Bible. The words “unable to connect” appeared. But instead of hitting reset on my cable box, conviction sent me to the Bible to renew my mind.

Long before I knew computer terms like Microsoft Word or Windows, I opened my soul to the Lord; the engineer who designed this body and complex universe. I don’t want to return to the days when the triune God wasn’t paramount in my life.

My world changed the day I chose relationship with God through His Son Jesus Christ. My sins were forgiven. As I meditate on scripture and seek His counsel, I’m better able to walk in the present. My personal concerns and what ifs about people, finances, health, and world events shrink in light of a Sovereign God who knows the future, and will never forsake me.

“Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.” That promise in James 4:8 is guaranteed. And contrary to my internet service, God will never say, “Sorry, you’re unable to connect.”

Mother May I?

“What do you want for Mother’s Day?”

In my household that means, “Do you want to eat out?” “Shall we buy you something?”

Too many people dine out that day. I’d rather not wait for a table. And I feel bad for moms who work as a waitress on Mother’s Day.

And nothing compares to the gifts my children made for me during their childhood years. My office is a museum of their arts and crafts. A hand-painted picture frame, a pencil holder made from a clay pot, a laminated card decorated with torn, colored construction paper.

Now, an act of service is my love language. Last year, my husband and teenage son spread shredded cedar in my flower beds. I was a happy mom! If my son chose to clean his closet, that could count as three Mother’s Day gifts. Dream on.

This Mother’s Day, I’ve decided to rest. I got the idea from my feline. She slept in the sun last week, oblivious to the activity around her.  Wouldn’t it be lovely to rest without a care? To do nothing, without guilt?

Don’t know that I can.

Unless I’m productive it’s not a good day. Even my reading a book, or a friendly phone call, seems like an accomplishment. God knows this about me. He’s given numerous scripture on my need for rest on multiple levels.

Sabbath Rest, rest from labor, resting in the Lord, rest for our souls, rest for the weary, entering God’s rest….

“This is what the Lord says … ‘ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls. But you said, ‘We will not walk in it.’” (Jeremiah 6:16)

Hello, Karen? Which part of rest don’t you understand?

Remember the child’s game, Mother May I? I’m told to do something by the leader, but first I must ask permission or I’m out of the game. The Lord’s Word tells me to rest. But unlike the game, I don’t have to say, “Father May I?” before proceeding.

God has given me permission. He invites me to enter His rest. He commands me to rest.  

It’s time I believe God’s Word and permit myself to rest.

Not only this Mother’s Day, but each Sunday as well.