Category: Uncategorized

What’s God Teaching You in Trials?

Early February, my cell phone dinged. My friend and mentor, Loretta, had sent a text.

“On my way to the E.R. Seems like a stroke.” 

My breath caught. “Wait! What? Who?”

I re-read Loretta’s text and responded with a prayer. “Sweet Jesus, please heal my friend. Make your presence known while she’s at the hospital. Remove all fear.” 

Three hours later, Loretta texted back. “I’m okay. Weak left leg. No Fear! Not a Drop!”

Loretta wasn’t okay.

She came home that evening, but the next morning Loretta returned to the hospital. Symptoms (weakness and slurred speech) were worse and pointed to a TIA (mini stroke) even though medical tests appeared normal. 

Six weeks later, Loretta’s life is far from normal.

Although her speech is good, she relies on a red-framed walker to get around. Simple household tasks aren’t so simple. Her steps are slow and measured when she moves about the kitchen so she doesn’t fall. 

I want to spare my fun-loving, independent friend from this misery. I want the Lord to heal her body and return life to normal. Now!

“It seems sometimes that there is no way to God’s Best but through pain, and yet how earnestly one longs to save a dear one from it.”

Missionary, Amy Carmichael

Loretta doesn’t pretend life is easy. Every day is a struggle. Even so, Loretta said:

“Could have been worse.” 

“I’m grateful for God’s faithfulness.”

“I’m at peace. Just have to walk it out.”

Walk it out means. . .

Live one day at a time. 

      Rely on the Lord (more than her new-fangled walker) to cope. 

            Learn to submit to God’s will and trust Him in the process.

Loretta’s God-centered attitude doesn’t surprise me. We’ve been here before. If you’ve read Lunch with Loretta: Discover the Power of a Mentoring Friendship, you know that my friend views life through an eternal lens.

“Every circumstance is an opportunity for God to teach and change me to become more like Jesus.”

 

This latest incident in Loretta’s life is no exception.

“I don’t want to go through this,” she said. “I pray for physical strength. But God is Sovereign and I know that He is able to use everything for my good and His glory.”

I asked my friend with the teachable heart, “What is God teaching you now?” 

She sighed. “It’s too soon to know. But I do want to learn.”

I wonder what God plans to teach her. How long will the lesson last? So far, it’s been an arduous one.

Or maybe, this recent incident is a test, examining the summation of everything Loretta has learned over a lifetime—and knows to be true—about her loving Sovereign God.  

Whatever God has planned for Loretta, tears come and I’m encouraged when I watch how she continues to praise and trust Him even in this . . . . 

*Do you ever ask God to teach and change you during personal trials?

*Consider sharing how God used one of your trials to teach you more about Himself. How did that knowledge change you?

Graphics: Jennifer Wrede

Is it a Lack of Time or Desire?

When I was a newly wed, my husband would drive to my work office at lunchtime and the two of us would drive together to a nearby restaurant. I remember one of my male co-workers once asked me, “The restaurant’s ten minutes away. Why don’t you meet your husband there instead of having him pick you up?”

I responded like any starry-eyed lover. “I want to be with my sweetheart. By driving together, I get to be with him for ten minutes each way!”

That’s how I view my relationship with God. I love the Lord with all my heart and I want to spend time with Him every day. During those harried days when I meet myself coming and going, I will grab whatever time I can find with God even if it’s only a few precious minutes.

I didn’t always make time with God a priority. In my twenties and thirties, I wanted to know God and spend time with Him by praying and reading my Bible. But I thought being still before God was a spiritual discipline . . . something I should do to be a good Christian . . . instead of recognizing that “I get to be with the One I love.”

I also allowed my circumstances (or the people in my life) to dictate when and how long I met with God. Too many years I was content to visit Him for an hour and a half on Sunday mornings at church. My loss. My regret.

In my forties, I met Loretta Chalfant, who offered to walk beside me as my Christian mentor. This woman not only loved the Lord, she made time for Him each day regardless of her circumstances. Loretta changed how I viewed God and my quiet time with Him. I saw through her example, and then personally experienced, what it means to spend time with God.

Meeting with God is a privilege. Not a duty.

Being still in God’s presence is a joy. Not boredom.

God wants to be loved and have His children desire His presence too.

Some might ask, “Can’t we love God without spending time with Him each day? After all, He knows when we’re busy and overwhelmed. He understands there are times when our circumstances (illness, being a caregiver, mom of a newborn) prevent us from making Him a priority. Why would the Lord expect me to squeeze Him into my day when He knows I have no time? No energy. No personal space to call my own.”

And those people would be right. The Lord isn’t blind. God sees and knows everything about us. He understands our human condition. But let me ask a question. Why would anyone want to do life on their own strength? When we’re overwhelmed and at the end of ourselves, isn’ t that all the more reason to seek God?

My daughter knows what it’s like to be worn out and unable to find fifteen minutes all to herself. Jenny’s the mom of a two-year-old boy. If she wants to spend quality time with God, she has to set the alarm clock and rise at dawn before her son wakes up. But I’m sure other young moms will attest with Jenny that sleep deprivation (during the first two years of your child’s life) is a sound excuse for not setting the alarm clock. Been there. Done that. Got the t-shirt that smells like soured breast milk.

Even so, my daughter agrees that meeting with God at some point in the day is necessary IF we want to experience more of His joy, peace, and wisdom in our lives.

So maybe, just maybe, all our excuses for not meeting with God isn’t about busyness or a lack of time. Maybe it boils down to a lack of desire.

Here’s what Jennifer noticed and wrote about making time for God:

Do you make time for God throughout the week?

If not, why not?

Where can you carve time for God even in this . . . fill in the blank . . . season of life?

Are You Light or Dark?

For years I prayed for opportunities to witness to nonbelievers. I berated myself if I failed to notice those opportunities or neglected to bring Christ into my conversations.  

But my spiritual mentor, Loretta, isn’t encumbered with the urgency to evangelize. She said her job is to meet with God each morning through prayer, worship, and Scripture. Then she makes herself available to God’s leading as she goes through her day. When God opens doors for Loretta to share her faith, she gladly steps into that sacred space.

“When you think about it,” Loretta said, “we choose every day whether to be light or darkness to others by our words and actions.” 

I nodded, recalling the passage where Jesus tells His followers, “Let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds, and glorify your Father in heaven” (Matthew 5:16). 

Loretta’s words about choosing light versus darkness made me realize . . .

Letting my light shine for others isn’t about concocting “good deeds” or cramming the gospel into someone’s heart. 

Letting my light shine means my words and behavior at any given moment and situation will reflect Christ—the Light of the world—who lives within me.

Choose Light—walk in a manner worthy of Christ.

Choose darkness—live for self and demand my own way at any cost.

Someone once told me, “People are watching.” 

That’s a scary thought if you want to be a good witness for Christ. And being a light can ‘turn off’ people who live in the dark.

Here’s an illustration from Loretta’s life:

In my fifties, God amazed me with His perfect timing and provision when I received a phone call from a company offering me a job. I was over the moon to find employment. But, shortly after being hired, my immediate supervisor told me to “get real.”

This four-foot-ten woman perceived me as a Miss Goody Two Shoes. She clearly disliked me and wasn’t afraid to let me know regardless of those around us.  She called me a fake and then added, “I’m not falling for the game you’re playing. Nor, the God stuff.”

Her words shocked me because I didn’t try to evangelize or talk about God unless it was already part of the conversation. A month into my job, I sat at my desk with my stomach in a knot and asked God, “Why am I here?”  

And God said, “For her!”

I turned my head in time to see my feisty supervisor reach for something off a shelf. A cold prickle of fear ran up my spine. “God, help me!” 

That’s when I learned to give up what I wanted (a kindhearted supervisor) and submit to whatever God wanted to accomplish in that stressful environment.

Whenever I went to work and wanted to cry, “Father, I can’t,” I knew from experience that God can. I relied on Him to breathe and carry me through me each day. 

After four months of that woman’s senseless accusations, St. Jude bought our company. They were getting rid of all contractors which included me. Each day, employees were called into the office and given their notice to leave. 

One morning my supervisor came to me in tears. She told me to report to the office. When I returned to my desk, she was in my chair. Still tearful, she pleaded, “You can’t leave until you tell me the purpose of life.” 

Can you imagine? I’d seen some softening of her heart, and now I had the opportunity to share the gospel. I sowed the seeds of faith. She didn’t accept Christ as her Savior that day, but God was in the experience for both our good. And I knew God would continue the work He’d begun. 

Is there a difficult person in your life who needs to see Christ’s Light in you?

How would you live differently if you knew God purposely placed that person in your life? 

Photo: Jennifer Wrede

Are You Hungry for God?

I’ve written a nonfiction narrative called Lunch with Loretta: Discover the Power of a Mentoring Friendship. This is not a how-to mentor book. Rather it’s the warm re-telling of the lunch conversations between my mentor, Loretta Chalfant, and myself as we explored a deeper relationship with God.

Some of our conversations concern seeking God, how to cope with adversity and pain, owning God’s love, spiritual indifference, how to pray for our loved ones, and worshipping the Lord with a full heart. Pull up a chair and listen to our conversations that are sometimes humorous, sometimes messy, but always transparent.

Click here to pre-order Kindle or paperback

You Okay?

My grandson toddles toward the lonely playground. He’s eighteen months old and this morning, his sights are fixed on the metal swing set. 

I watch his precarious baby steps as he navigates the gravel path. Best that I stay within arm’s reach in case Grandson falls. Sure enough, he stumbles.

“You’re okay. I got you!” 

I grasp his outstretched hand before his knees scrape the ground. Then, I lead him by the hand while we walk to the swing set.

After I settle on the swing, I lift Grandson to  my lap and wrap my arm around his waist. He leans back, fearless and content as we swing higher and faster.

This child trusts me with his safety. No whining or wiggling to suggest he’d rather be anywhere but here. Ohh, to be a carefree child!

Throughout my life, I’ve seen the Lord’s mercies. He repeatedly rescues me from danger and cushions my falls. So I know his eye is on me, and his Spirit guides me. But,

I want to trust God more. To be content with the here and now when life’s events feels like nettles in my socks.

Whenever I hear—pandemic, protests, politics—my body stiffens. I grumble about social distancing, quarantine, masks, my canceled appointments—hair today, denied tomorrow.

I raise my hands in protest rather than prayer.

This isn’t the summer vacation I bargained for. This isn’t the retired life I’d anticipated. This isn’t the lifestyle I’d envisioned for my grown children. I want to see my parents without fear of infecting them with COVID19!

Dad says, “Could be worse!”

Today is worse.

It’s nine a.m. and I’m drenched in sweat as the mercury in my outdoor thermometer inches toward a hundred. I can tolerate the heat, but rolling power outages and Red Flag Warnings (to evacuate our home) are in effect while the not-so-distant wildfires paint the sky ash grey. Yesterday, the foothills looked like they were puffing a cigarette. Today, they’re a chain-smoker.

I inhale deep, before the winds shift south and the air smells like a stale smoking lounge. I worry for the firefighters. I ponder what I’d do if my house burned down.

My body is swinging in the breeze, but my disposition is teetering on the edge of a miry pit. God intervenes like the doting Father that he is.

“Karen, you’re okay. I got you.”

I want to believe you, Lord, but…. 

From where I stand on planet earth, it feels like you’ve abandoned your creation. Not that I’d blame you. A time out, with our noses on the wall, might do everyone some good. But right now, I’m not feeling okay. 

God knows me. And yes, he is patient. He brings to mind what my mentor, Loretta, has told me repeatedly. The eternal perspective that has pulled me up by the boot straps on more than one occasion, and helped me forge ahead by God’s grace. 

She’d point to the pandemic, the wildfires and the nettles in my socks and tell me, 

“Every circumstance is an opportunity for God to teach and change us.” 

Change us? How?

To become more like Christ—more loving, compassionate, kind, patient, forgiving, willing to serve, prayerful.

I inwardly squirm. “I don’t want to learn these lessons the hard way. Can’t I sit in my recliner and read the Bible and be changed?”

My grandson points to the sky, bringing me back to this sweet spot.

I follow his wide-eyed gaze.

“That’s a Red-Tail Hawk,” I tell him. “Birds use thermals to soar without flapping their wings.”

My grandson isn’t old enough to comprehend everything I say, but he’s taking it all in—his surroundings, my words, the tone of my voice, my actions. He’s getting to know me as well as life.

Spending time with someone will do that, you know. 

Grandson scoots off my lap and heads for the tall metal slide. He’s been there before. And he’s not afraid. He knows that grandma will be right beside him. 

 That’s a God lesson . . . even in this!