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What is Fear, but a lack of trust?

It was dusk when I walked the narrow path made of white butcher paper, marked with a male’s naked, red footprints.

High school students had transformed the school gymnasium to recreate a Journey to the Cross. It was an outreach to turn people’s hearts toward Jesus.

By God’s grace and the Holy Spirit, these hearts would be convicted and healed.

Instead of praying: Fix my problems. Show me the way.

I asked God, Show me my SIN.

Show me what action or attitude within me, is offensive, or contrary to Your will.

The very sin Christ bore as He died on the cross to set me free.

As I entered the gymnasium, somber music played from The Passion soundtrack. Black and burgundy cloth, hung from wires, subdivided the gym to create smaller rooms depicting Jesus’ betrayal, trial, scourging, death, and resurrection.

In one area, there was a sign: Take a black scrap of cloth and a piece of chalk. Write a sin, something you wrestle with….then nail it to the cross.

Of my many vices, FEAR surfaced. For what is fear, but a lack of trusting God?

“We can’t trust someone we don’t know.”

That’s what my friend, Loretta, told me years ago.

Since then, I’ve gone from head knowledge, knowing about God, to KNOWING HIM in a more intimate way that satisfies my heart.

And yet, FEAR remains my Achilles heel.

So I scribbled: FEAR; lack of trusting God.

Prior to writing those words, I had glanced inside a small nearby area designated “Prayer Room.” Since it was evening, the room was devoid of people, but I hesitated to enter. After God revealed my sin, this weakness that cripples my faith, I stepped inside.

Pillows and blankets lined the floor, tea lights in mason jars flickered, and white icicle lights hung overhead. I sat down to pray, but my jaw dropped. For next to my ankle was an index card with the word TRUST.

I picked up the card, turned it over. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” Proverbs 3:4, 5

A few other cards were scattered on the floor. Different words, different verses. But TRUST was the word next to me, the first card that caught my attention.

Coincidence? That a student felt led to write TRUST, two days earlier?

Coincidence? That beckoned me into that prayer room, caused me to sit down in that exact spot?

Tears of joy, not condemnation, filled my eyes. How can I not love my Lord who reveals my sin, but then gently reminds me to TRUST.

Trust…the Lord with my life, and circumstances beyond my control.
Trust…the Lord loves me and died for me too.
Trust…the Lord that I’m forgiven and a new creature in Christ Jesus.

I nailed that scrap of black cloth to a large wooden cross. A cross blackened with the sins of teachers, students, and parents who had gone on this Journey before me.

And like the others, I wrote on a wall near the empty tomb,

One of the many benefits that come when we’re Born Again, and our sins are forgiven: Peace, joy, gratitude, hope, love, victory, freedom, a new identity…..

Have you trusted in Christ?

If so, have you told Him how much you love Him?

Which Heart Do You Want?

According to my husband, we have smoke detectors in our house so we’ll know when our food is done. Don’t believe me?

Ask my teenage son who burned bacon in the frying pan. The good news is that he learned our smoke detectors work properly, and they’re loud.

I wasn’t home at the time. Hoping to get rid of the burnt smell, my son turned on the ceiling fans and lit scented candles. I’ve done the same thing.

Besides, who am I to point a spatula at my son?

I’ve scraped my share of burnt egg whites and stiff yokes off the ceiling because the water boiled away and the eggs exploded. Talk about a nasty stench.

Last week, I put two cups of water and a half a cup of sugar in a pan and turned on the stove. Normally, the sugar dissolves in the hot water and becomes hummingbird food.

Then again, if “the cook” leaves the kitchen to put a load of laundry into the dryer and forgets about the sugar water boiling on the stove….She’ll find a lump of rock candy bubbling on the bottom of the pan.

The good news is that it cooled and hardened into a heart, sweet enough to lick.

So I whipped together another batch of sugar water. Only this time, I waited near the stove and stirred the liquid while I pondered my rock-hard, heart-shaped candy.

Fact: I’m a happy person when Life is sweet. But when the Lord turns up the heat and allows trials to permeate my life … How do I respond, especially towards the Lord?

ØDraw near the Lord with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, knowing God uses trials to achieve His eternal purposes?

“These trials are only to test your faith, to show that it is strong and pure. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—and your faith is far more precious to God than mere gold.” (1 Peter 1:7)

ØTurn Away from the Lord, allowing pride and/or unbelief to harden my heart and test God’s patience?

“Be careful then, dear brothers and sisters. Make sure that your own hearts are not evil and unbelieving, turning you away from the living God. You must warn each other every day, as long as it is called ‘today’, so that none of you will be deceived by sin and hardened against God.” (Hebrews 3: 12, 13)

As I poured the homemade nectar into my hummingbird feeder, I prayed for a heart that would never grow cold or hard towards the God of my salvation.

“Search me O God, and know my heart; … point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.” (Psalm 139:23–24).

How do you respond when hard times come?

Feeling Out of Control?

SPEED scares me.

You want to see crazy? Ride with me in a car going over 40 mph when I’m the passenger. Not only am I a “backseat” driver, telling people HOW to drive,

My palms sweat, there’s a knot in my stomach. The same symptoms I get riding on a roller coaster, ski boat, snow mobile, motorcycle. I ride the brakes when I’m on a bicycle going downhill.

So imagine my amusement when my husband and I visited Los Angeles where we had to drive on multiple freeways: THE 405, THE 105, THE 605, THE 710, THE 5, and THE 110.

Driving for five days at speeds that far exceeded my comfort zone, and dodging five lanes of even faster, more aggressive drivers…drove me bananas.

When I wasn’t counting down the miles and minutes on the GPS, my eyes were clinched tight. I kept a white-knuckle death grip on the arm rest. And I prayed.

Bottle-neck traffic that had us crawl at a snail’s pace was answered prayer.

No joke. Speed makes me crazy.

On those rare occasions that I ride on the back of my husband’s motorcycle (only on rural roads) I remind myself to breathe rather than fixate on the black asphalt rushing below my feet. I cling to my husband’s rib cage so tight that he can’t breathe.

Isn’t it strange that clinging to something or someone when there’s a perceived threat can provide a sense of security…albeit it a false one.

I doubt holding on for dear life to an arm rest or my husband will keep me safe. Even a seat belt can only do so much at death-defying speeds. But I pretend.

Then again, perhaps speed is not the problem. Perhaps it’s a lack of control that scares me because I’m not in the driver’s seat.

Which makes sense. Because even when both feet are on the ground and I hear about someone who was diagnosed with cancer, or a commercial plane that disappeared in the Indian Ocean, or the earthquake that jolted Los Angeles the day after we left…..

My instinct is to GRAB something and PRETEND everything will be alright.

I want to feel safe, have some sense of control.

So I think of every contingency; take every precaution. Isn’t that what wise people do?

· Get a vaccine for the latest flu germ.

· Eat right, floss the teeth, exercise, and get an annual health exam.

· Buy insurance for the car. The house. My life.

· Save and invest money. (Hide a little extra under the mattress. Never know when the banks will crash.)

· Stock the pantry for natural disasters.

· Lock the door, the windows, set the burglar alarm…just in case.

And for good measure, and fire insurance against hell, become a Christian and attend church regularly because surely bad things don’t happen to good people, right?

Uh, where does it say that in the Bible?

Fact: Life Happens. Like seat belts, my best efforts to be safe and plan for emergencies can only do so much.

I have many choices in life, but I have little control.

“Faith, prayer, and obedience are our requirements. We are not offered in exchange immunity or exemption from the world’s woes. What we are offered has to do with another world altogether.” (Elisabeth Elliot)

So I Believe. Pray. Obey. Cling.

To Yahweh, the Only God who is Sovereign and in control over the affairs of men, nations, and even the weather. For I’ve been born again in Christ, sealed by the Holy Spirit, studied God’s Word, and learned experientially …

“The LORD is my rock, my fortress, and my savior; my God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the power that saves me, and my place of safety.” (Psalm 18:2 NIV)

Show Me a Sign

“Rain all through the night,” announced the man on the radio.

I welcomed the winter rain. We need the water. But most folks across the country are ready for Spring. They’re sick of snow. And who can blame them?

Sometimes we need a change.

Perhaps it’s not the weather. Financial hardship, marital problems, rebellious teens, ill health, or a tedious job will stretch our patience thin.

We pray, but nothing changes.

So we hunker down and wait for the season, or storm, to pass.

When I’m overwhelmed by duties or sorrows, searching for answers, I’m prone to act like Gideon (Judges 6-9). I want assurance that God is present and has a plan.

Show me a sign, Lord.

That was my exact prayer when a three-day rainstorm paused, and the sun broke through the clouds like a welcomed guest. Enjoying the calm before another storm, I walked to my mailbox and found a package. Inside the package was a slim metal bracelet that I had ordered eight weeks earlier.

A package long overdue, but not really because ….

God’s timing is perfect.

A smile spread across my face as I read the tiny, engraved words on my bracelet.

Abide in Me

Not exactly the answer I was looking for that blustery day, but I knew it was a sign from above. Circumstances change, but God’s response remains the same.

Abide in Me

Abiding is that sweet union which allows believers to experience uninterrupted fellowship with Jesus. When we abide in Him, not only can we rest and experience peace, Jesus says we will bear much fruit and have joy (John 15).

When we abide in Christ, our eyes are fixed on Him and not our circumstances. We lean on Christ, and not ourselves.

As storm clouds gathered on the horizon that day, I ran my fingers over the bracelet. Three words once spoken by Jesus were now etched upon my heart, wrapped around my wrist.

Abide in Me

Today and every day…..even in this storm.

Photo of Bird: Molly Smith Detweiler

Thunderstorm: Karen Foster

What If I Were Jesus?

“We love, because He first loved us.” (1 John 4:19)

Before I asked Jesus into my heart or did a good deed…God loved me.

He still does.

When I have a horrible, rotten day and I’m in a bad mood. When I fail to read my Bible or pray.

God loves me.

Sometimes, I struggle to believe God. And trust that He loves me today as much as He loved me yesterday.

I try to wrap my mind around truth, that NOTHING can separate me from the LOVE of GOD. Not even my pathetic choices, my indifference towards Him.

Surely, I must do something to earn God’s love, make Him love me more.

LOVE MORE?

How could God love any more than this: “God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us,” (Romans 5:8)

Love caused Christ to be mocked, beaten, spit upon, crucified, and pierced…for my sake.

Knowing God’s love allows me to rest, invokes me to praise His name, share His love with others.

My first and last thought each day should be my first love, Jesus, and the great things He has done.

As if dying for me wasn’t enough.

What if today, I chose to love the Lord with all my heart, mind, and soul rather than treat God as a casual acquaintance?

What if I loved the Lord for Who He is rather than only seek His hand?

What if I were Jesus, would I long for someone to love me too?

Might I say these words…..

“Think of the multitudes who thronged ME when I was on earth all eager for something. Eager to be healed, or taught, or fed.

Think as I supplied their many wants, and granted their manifold requests, what it meant to Me, to find amid the crowd, some one or two, who followed Me just to be near Me, just to dwell in My presence.

How some longing of the Eternal heart was satisfied thereby.

Comfort Me, a while, by letting Me know that you would seek Me just to dwell in My Presence, to be near Me, not even for teaching, not for material gain,not even for a message—but for Me.” (God Calling)

“Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God.” (1 John 4:15)

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