Author: Karen Foster

I'd like to say I've changed, but after decades of living, I still have the same four passions. My relationship with Jesus, spending time with family, attending live theater, and writing devotions & first-person stories about a loving, faithful God who reveals Himself in our every day circumstances.

Not My Nature to Rest

One minute, midnight to be exact, I’m at my desk in a writing frenzy. All’s well with the world and my soul. Must get ready for bed; have a big day planned for the morrow.

The next minute, my body raises a red flag. Discomfort escalates into physical pain.

Crawl into bed; hoping sleep will shield me, but the minute hand drags oblivious to my impatience and pleading prayers. At three a.m. I turn on the lamp, conceding my best laid plans are canceled, and listen to the night sounds. When the hooting owl gives way to the lark, I slumber at last, but not for long.

After noon, after the doctor and prescription, I collapse into bed. I don’t want to lie beneath hot sheets while the sky is a brilliant blue, and daytime noises summon me to action. But I have no choice. Sickness sabotages me. I must cease striving, and rest, and wait for the green light of good health.

Why is it difficult to rest, to hand over the keys of responsibility especially whenever a decision must be made and a course of action taken? Scripture is medicine to my soul and I’m convicted to “Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him.” (Psalm 37:7)

Define rest. And how long must I wait?

The thought makes me strain like a toddler confined to his car seat. Lord, tell me to build an ark, build a temple, or feed the poor; anything, but inaction.

His Word stares me in the face.

Whenever the flesh is beat….

Whenever the mind is muddled….

Whenever the soul is starved or enslaved…..

Jesus says, “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28)

Lord, it’s not my nature to rest. But He says come versus do.

Not do?? I’m wired to obey God’s law, follow man’s rules, meet people’s expectations.

Jesus says, “Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart; and you shall find rest for your souls.” (Matthew 11:29)

To take means I agree to submit.

Jesus invites me to come so He can give rest. He offers His yoke so that I can learn from Him and find rest for my soul. He invites, He gives. By coming to Christ in submission, I receive and discover “His yoke is easy and His load is light.”

And that’s how I rest and wait patiently even in this……

Nothing but the toilets

My to-do list, written by morning’s first light, lies pristine on a kitchen counter. Nothing checked off or accomplished.

What happened to the day?

I roll back the hours when morning prayers brought to mind the faces of those I love, and prompted a flurry of emails, texts, and phone calls. Praise God for technology that shrinks the miles and unites hearts with instant communication.

Not one to sit idle, the taskmaster rises within me even though I’m on the phone. I scrub toilet bowls and wipe sinks while I talk with someone a thousand miles away.

Clock strikes noon, bringing me back to “my list.” I’m off like a racehorse to the county jail. More prayers rise heavenward for the women inmates who wait for me behind cement walls, desperate for God’s Word. But chapel time surrenders to jail maintenance and prevents me from going inside. Do I check jail ministry off my list if it doesn’t happen?

Check my watch, calculating the minutes until the repair man shows up to my house, must get the heater fixed. Rush home to discover he’s running late; probably won’t happen today. Minutes slip through my fingers like liquid soap as the twilight hour appears.

Hungry stomachs must be fed so I puree pumpkin soup and listen for my husband’s car in the driveway. He earned a paycheck for his labor. What do I have to show for my day? Seems like nothing but the toilets got done. 

Chris Tomlin sings from my IPOD speakers, “Your grace is enough…I’m covered in your blood. So remember your people, Oh, God.”

I sprinkle cinnamon in the soup and ponder, is God’s grace enough? Or do I try to earn His favor and find my value in the doing? I gladly receive God’s grace when I mess up, and extend grace to others who fail. So why is it hard to give myself grace when I don’t meet my own expectations?

And relax, knowing that sometimes…..

Seeking God and remembering His people in prayer may be the only thing I can muster. But in God’s Book, my relationship with Him and others is everything.

“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the great and foremost commandment. And a second is like it, you shall love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matthew 22:37-39)

A light rain descends and dances like reindeer hooves on my roof. I grate zucchini and crack eggs for homemade bread ~~ an offering to my husband for a job well done.

Set the oven timer and scan my list. Clean toilets aren’t on the list. Neither are the names of people I spoke with, or intercessory prayer, but I know God laid those people on my heart.

Garage door rumbles open, and my husband enters the kitchen bearing the weight of the world. He sniffs the air where the aroma of pumpkin soup mingles with oven-baked bread. Smiling, I walk into his arms. His shoulders relax, and the pleasure on his face assures me that “my only aim is to know Christ” and love others.

The rest is gravy.

God’s Grace is Enough

It’s Communion Sunday. A time of repentance, remembrance, rejoicing.

Repentance ~ Silver plate passes in front of me. I take the bread, symbol of Christ’s broken body. Next comes the fruit of the vine, poured in thimble-sized, plastic cups.

Lord, I don’t deserve this. I’m not worthy.

But still, God loved me enough to send His Son, Jesus to ransom me

So I eat and drink in….

Remembrance ~ For this is My blood of the covenant which is poured out for many for forgiveness of sins.” (Matthew 26:28)

Can’t comprehend the magnitude of God’s love, can’t fathom the cost.

But still, I raise my hands and …

Rejoice ~ that God’s grace is enough. I’ve been purchased with His own blood. (Acts  20:28)  and “nothing can separate me from the love of God.” (Romans 8:38,39)

It’s a truth I’ll need to cling to because

That same day, I’m on a walk when a turkey vulture circles overhead; in search of death, a hearty meal.

I think of my “adversary, the devil, who prowls about like a roaring lion, seeking someone to destroy.” (1 Peter 5:8)

Not knowing, that someone is me.

While the sweet fruit of the vine lingers on my lips, I trespass once again. And in a blind moment, God’s grace and love appears dim as I listen to the enemy’s accusations.

Karen, You are not worthy. 

I weep, knowing my best can’t close the gap between my filth and God’s holiness.

But still, God loves me. And His Spirit that dwells within me, because I am purchased by His blood, guides me to a passage that confirms His benevolent grace.

In Zechariah 3:1-4, Satan accuses Joshua, the high priest of Israel, who stands before the angel of the Lord wearing filthy garments. Instead of defending Joshua, God says, “Remove the filthy garments from him. See, I have taken your iniquity from you and will clothe you with festal robes.”  

God’s grace is enough.

Tears cloud my vision, as I read verse 8 aloud, “Behold, I am going to bring in My servant the Branch…and I will remove the iniquity….”  

“The Branch,” Jesus the Messiah, who “was crushed for our iniquities” (Psalm 53:5)

Crushed for MY iniquities, and brought

Reconciliation ~”God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not counting their trespasses against them…. “ (2 Corinthians 5:18)

Defeated, the enemy slinks away in silence; his tail between his legs.

Elated, I rejoice once again that my perfection is based on my relationship with Christ and not my petty performance.

What’s Taking Sooo Long? (rest of the story)

The rest of the story…….

The disappointment on my son’s face tugs my heartstrings. And I realize, its easier for me to pray “Thy will be done” in my life than watch “His will be done” in my children’s lives, particularly as they get older.

Unlike the years when I could dry their tears and kiss scraped knees, the needs of my adult children have also grown. Powerless to help them or show them the way, I get on my knees and pray. But when storm clouds linger and there’s no end in sight, I ask God, What’s taking so long?

Just say the word, the waters will part, the wind and the clouds will obey.

Remember the woman who begged for mercy,  “Oh Lord, my daughter’s demon-possessed.” And Jesus replied, “O woman, your faith is great; be it done for you as you wish.”  (Matthew 15:22-28)

Is it wrong of me to wish You’d help my children? O Lord, why must they wait?

The question is raised, but my heart knows the answer; “trials are the testing of our faith.” We’re a work in progress and there’s more at stake, than the wishes of an earth-bound  Mother.

                                                                                                                   

Had I Been Joseph’s Mother

(by Ruth Bell Graham)

Had I been Joseph’s mother

I’d have prayed protection from his brothers

“God, keep him safe.

He is so young,

so different from the others.”

Mercifully, she never knew

there would be slavery

and prison, too.

Had I been Moses’ mother

I’d have wept to keep my little son:

Praying she might forget

the babe drawn from the water

of the Nile.

Had I not kept him for her

nursing him the while,

was he not mine?

And she, but Pharaoh’s daughter?

Had I been Daniel’s mother

I should have pled

“Give Victory!

This Babylonian horde

godless and cruel—

Don’t let him be a captive,

Better dead, Almighty Lord!”

Had I been Mary,

Oh, had I been she,

I would have cried

as never mother cried,

“Anything, O God, Anything…

but crucified.”

With such prayers importunate

My finite wisdom would assail

Infinite Wisdom.

God, how fortunate

Infinite Wisdom

should prevail.

What’s Taking Soooo Long?

For several weeks now, my teenage son walks in the door after school and greets me with the same question, “Did my music CD arrive?”

I shake my head, and watch him sort through the mail as he grumbles, “It should have been here by now.”

Forget snail mail, my son wants to know if the company sent me an email explaining the status of the CD he ordered.

“No word.”

“What’s taking so long?”

  I’ve asked God that same question.

 “Lord, I prayed about this matter weeks ago…………What’s taking so long?”

 I sort through God’s Word, searching for His answer.  I pray and fast so God knows I mean business. I claim Luke 11:5-13 where Jesus tells us to keep on asking; I’m not trying to be a pain.

But sometimes I wait so long, the weeks turn into months, and even years ……………without a response.

Does God’s silence on the subject mean NO or NOT YET?

I cross my fingers and pray again, hoping the answer is a delayed affirmation; that it may be later than sooner, but I’ll get what I want. Sounds like the brat in Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory who wants the golden egg, and she wants it NOW!

Oswald Chambers once wrote, “Are you prepared to ask yourself what it is you want from God and why you want it? God always ignores your present level of completeness in favor of your ultimate future completeness. He is not concerned about making you happy right now, but He’s continually working out His ultimate perfection for you.”

There’s that word perfection again and my need (not want) to submit to God’s perfect plan for my life. “And let endurance (perseverance) have its perfect result, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” (James 1:4)

My son comes home and tosses junk mail on the kitchen counter. The disappointment on his face tugs my heartstrings. And I realize, it’s easier to pray “Thy will be done” in my life, than watch “His will be done” in my children’s lives.

 But that’s another story……………