Author: Karen Foster

I'd like to say I've changed, but after decades of living, I still have the same four passions. My relationship with Jesus, spending time with family, attending live theater, and writing devotions & first-person stories about a loving, faithful God who reveals Himself in our every day circumstances.

My Space

     The young girl within me giggled when I walked into the hotel room. It was immaculate. And there was a king-size bed just for me.  I plopped down on the pillow-top mattress.

I can watch whatever on television. I can stay up late reading. I can eat crackers in bed…it’s all my space.

Odd those ten hours of space would trigger my emotions.

I remember being a child on family vacations. Long hours driving down the highway in our Ford station wagon. My younger brother stretches out on the back bench seat, his feet crossing the imaginary line we agreed upon.

“Mommm, tell R…to get on his own side!”

As a teenager, if little brother walked into my bedroom uninvited,“Mom, tell R… to get out of my room!”

In my twenties, two spaces became one. Not only did I have to share my personal space, so did the groom. After the honeymoon, I had to ask, “Honey, may I have some closet space for my clothes?”

Then the children arrived and there was no space. They thought nothing of knocking on my bathroom door.

“Mommy!”

“Can’t it wait?”

“Tell J….to leave me alone.”

Now that two of our children are grown, I have more space. But some days I want it all to myself. Don’t ask me why. I only know, for one night I had my space. And it was good.

Then came self-imposed guilt.

I thought of the excellent wife described in Proverbs 31. According to verses 15 and 18, she didn’t have any space. The woman “gets up while it is still dark, and her lamp does not go out at night.”

Then again, perhaps we aren’t so different. Many a day, I rose while it was “still dark” to feed my babies and rock them back to sleep. Plenty of “nights” I stayed awake to stroke my children’s feverish brows.

As on-call wife and mom, I carved my space out of early mornings and midnight hours. Then I learned to share that space with God.

How can a woman be a good steward, serve her family, and minister to the needy without enough space?

The same way Jesus handled the masses and moments of each day.

“Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place where he prayed” (Mark 1:35 NIV).

Need space? Rise early while it’s still dark, and pray…

Even in this season of life.

Why’d You Do it?

The dark-haired woman sees me enter the jail room. Standing up, she flings her cards on the table and tells me, “Don’t even ask.”

We go to another table and sit across from each other. I study her downcast eyes, and wait for an explanation.

 “I couldn’t do it. I got lonely and anxious. So I went back to my old friends and habits.” She covers her mouth with her hand while she speaks. But it doesn’t hide her missing upper teeth. I never realized she wears dentures.

I touch her arm, remembering her joyful mood the previous month. We had praised God because she was clean of drugs, leaving jail, and determined to follow Jesus instead of her peers.

She’s not the exception. I’ve watched too many women leave jail with great intentions only to return again and again. Addiction to drugs and alcohol is the culprit. Ruined lives, and families ripped apart, are the collateral damage.

I leave jail despondent. Will these women ever break free of the lifestyle they’ve chosen? Where’s their will power?     

Days later, I come home after a long day. I’m alone. Hungry, I open the refrigerator. I don’t want to cook. I’m tired of salads. Looking for leftovers, I open a container of homemade onion dip. My mouth waters as Will Power shouts “Put it back.” But the onion-flavored sour cream lures me like a Greek Siren.

 Why not? I’ve been on a strict diet for a month. I’ve lost weight.  A few bites shouldn’t hurt.

Instead of spooning small portions of dip and potato chips onto a plate, I grab the bowl and a half bag of chips on my way to the couch.

Will Power warns, “You’ll regret this tomorrow.”

“But it tastes so good tonight.”

One bite, another. I’m hooked. Soon, I’m craving nachos. I cave into desire and smother tortilla chips with melted cheese and fresh jalapenos. If it weren’t midnight, I’d order a pizza.

At bedtime, my breath reeks of onions. I must chew Tums.

Disgusted, Will Power shakes her head. “You knew better. Why’d you do it?”

Groaning, I rub my stomach….

And weep for the dark-haired woman.

  “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do; but what I hate I do. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God–through Jesus Christ our Lord” (Romans 7:15,18,24,25)  

Can’t Leave Home without It

Once there was a commercial: “American Express Card…Don’t leave home without it.” I’ve managed to live my life thus far without that card. But I can’t seem to leave my house without my cell phone.

When I’m rushing out the door, it’s not enough to grab my purse and car keys. I NEED my cell phone in case of a flat tire, a California earthquake, or a family emergency. Like the day my daughter called. “Mom, if you’re going to the store, we NEED Rocky Road Ice Cream!

My cell phone is also necessary for those must-see-now text messages and Face Book status updates. My phone riiiings or beeeps and I immediately stop what I’m doing. Might be important!

IF ONLY I responded that quickly when the Holy Spirit prompts me.

Somewhere along the way, my cell phone became part of my attire. Like my earrings. I feel naked if I leave home without them.

This summer, my cell phone has spent a lot of time nestled in my pant’s back pocket. Whether I’m walking, cleaning house, or doing yard work, I’m a convenient phone call away. Never mind that I only answer the phone if I know the person, and I’m in the mood to talk.

Lately, my phone has been on vibrate. Not smart. Too often I forget where I left it. It’s become a daily treasure hunt. I dial my cell phone number from my house phone. Then I tiptoe around the house, straining to hear the bzzzz sound. Thrice now, it’s been in my pant’s back pocket. My buns jiggled before my ears heard the bzzzz.

Which got me to thinking……….

Imagine how much fruit I’d bear each day IF ONLY I would abide (or remain) in Christ to the same extent I’m attached to my cell phone.

“I am the vine;you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing” (John 15:5).

IF ONLY I clung to Christ, the vine, throughout my day.

IF ONLY I panicked when I forgot or neglected His presence.

IF ONLY I remained so close to Jesus that I constantly heard His still small voice nudging me to keep His commandments.

Imagine how much joy I’d experience. How differently I’d live. (John 15:11-12)

Thirst Quencher

Red mercury climbs the thermostat to 104 degrees. My Periwinkles and Petunias droop like southern belles beneath a harsh sun. Mindful of their thirst, I spray water from the garden hose into the parched soil.

The plants gulp the cool liquid through stems like a feverish child sucking water through a straw. Thirst quenched, they stand taller; their limp leaves uncurl.

I can endure stifling summer heat. But grey smoke-filled days from a local brush fire keep me indoors; discontent. My spirit droops. What will quench my unmet expectations?

Jesus cried out, “If anyone thirsts, let him come to Me and drink. He who believes in Me, as the Scripture has said, out of his heart will flow rivers of living water” (John 7:37, 38)

Actions affect attitudes.

So I come and drink God’s Word.

And believe Jesus when He told the Samaritan woman, “whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall become in him a well of water springing up to eternal life.” (John 4:13, 14)

Drink the water.

Soak up God’s endless love and grace.

Feel my parched soul soften, my countenance stand tall….

And my clenched fists uncurl even in this.

Weight a Minute

Squeezing into a pair of blue jean capris pants, I yanked the zipper shut. Do I have the correct size? I double checked the store tag hanging from the waist band. Yep! And I thought all my clothes had mysteriously shrunk.

Vanity refused to purchase a larger pant size. I left the store empty-handed. Perhaps a hot green tea latte with whole milk and a raspberry scone will make me feel better. It didn’t.

I returned home determined to battle the bulge. For three weeks, I counted calories, weighed my food portions, and exercised. And each week, I stepped on the scale with the same results. Nothing! The only thing I lost was patience.

On the fourth week, the needle on the bathroom scale inched backwards by two numbers (which shall remain anonymous). Victory at last! Just keep on keeping on….

If self-discipline marks the road to a successful diet, then perseverance is my battle cry. Not unlike my Christian walk.

“Enter by the narrow gate….Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life…” (Matthew 7:13-14)

Oswald Chambers wrote, “If we are going to live as disciples of Jesus, we have to remember that all efforts of worth and excellence are difficult. God saves people by His sovereign grace through the atonement of Jesus, and ‘it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure’ (Philippians 2:13). But we have to ‘work out’ that salvation in our everyday, practical living (Philippians 2:12).”

Chambers says there’s no room for “pampered, spoiled weaklings. It takes a tremendous amount of discipline to live the worthy and excellent life of a disciple of Jesus in the realities of life.”

No joke! Some days losing weight seems like a piece of cake compared to discipleship. Lord, do you really expect me to love my neighbor as myself? Is it really more blessed to give than receive?

No one said following Jesus is easy. But Heaven forbid my Christian faith fluctuates like my weight. By His grace, I want to “walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, to please Him in all respects, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God” (Colossians 1:10).

And that is a goal that lines up with God’s will and is worthy of my best effort.