Feeling Out of Control?

SPEED scares me.

You want to see crazy? Ride with me in a car going over 40 mph when I’m the passenger. Not only am I a “backseat” driver, telling people HOW to drive,

My palms sweat, there’s a knot in my stomach. The same symptoms I get riding on a roller coaster, ski boat, snow mobile, motorcycle. I ride the brakes when I’m on a bicycle going downhill.

So imagine my amusement when my husband and I visited Los Angeles where we had to drive on multiple freeways: THE 405, THE 105, THE 605, THE 710, THE 5, and THE 110.

March 2014 LOS Angeles 226

Driving for five days at speeds that far exceeded my comfort zone, and dodging five lanes of even faster, more aggressive drivers…drove me bananas.

When I wasn’t counting down the miles and minutes on the GPS, my eyes were clinched tight. I kept a white-knuckle death grip on the arm rest. And I prayed.

Bottle-neck traffic that had us crawl at a snail’s pace was answered prayer.

No joke. Speed makes me crazy.

On those rare occasions that I ride on the back of my husband’s motorcycle (only on rural roads) I remind myself to breathe rather than fixate on the black asphalt rushing below my feet. I cling to my husband’s rib cage so tight that he can’t breathe.

Isn’t it strange that clinging to something or someone when there’s a perceived threat can provide a sense of security…albeit it a false one. 

I doubt holding on for dear life to an arm rest or my husband will keep me safe. Even a seat belt can only do so much at death-defying speeds. But I pretend.

Then again, perhaps speed is not the problem. Perhaps it’s a lack of control that scares me because I’m not in the driver’s seat.

Which makes sense. Because even when both feet are on the ground and I hear about someone who was diagnosed with cancer, or a commercial plane that disappeared in the Indian Ocean, or the earthquake that jolted Los Angeles the day after we left…..

My instinct is to GRAB something and PRETEND everything will be alright.

I want to feel safe, have some sense of control.

So I think of every contingency; take every precaution. Isn’t that what wise people do?

·    Get a vaccine for the latest flu germ.

·    Eat right, floss the teeth, exercise, and get an annual health exam.

·   Buy insurance for the car. The house. My life.

·   Save and invest money. (Hide a little extra under the mattress. Never know when the banks will crash.)

·   Stock the pantry for natural disasters.

·   Lock the door, the windows, set the burglar alarm…just in case.

And for good measure, and fire insurance against hell, become a Christian and attend church regularly because surely bad things don’t happen to good people, right?

Uh, where does it say that in the Bible?

Fact: Life Happens. Like seat belts, my best efforts to be safe and plan for emergencies can only do so much.

I have many choices in life, but I have little control.

“Faith, prayer, and obedience are our requirements. We are not offered in exchange immunity or exemption from the world’s woes. What we are offered has to do with another world altogether.” (Elisabeth Elliot)

So I Believe. Pray. Obey. Cling.

To Yahweh, the Only God who is Sovereign and in control over the affairs of men, nations, and even the weather. For I’ve been born again in Christ, sealed by the Holy Spirit, studied God’s Word, and learned experientially …

“The LORD is my rock, my fortress, and my savior; my God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the power that saves me, and my place of safety.”  (Psalm 18:2 NIV)

 

 

Show Me a Sign

Rain all through the night,” announced the man on the radio.

I welcomed the winter rain. We need the water. But most folks across the country are ready for Spring. They’re sick of snow. And who can blame them?

Sometimes we need a change.

Perhaps it’s not the weather. Financial hardship, marital problems, rebellious teens, ill health, or a tedious job will stretch our patience thin.

We pray, but nothing changes.

So we hunker down and wait for the season, or storm, to pass.

When I’m overwhelmed by duties or sorrows, searching for answers, I’m prone to act like Gideon (Judges 6-9). I want assurance that God is present and has a plan.

Show me a sign, Lord.    

That was my exact prayer when a three-day rainstorm paused, and the sun broke through the clouds like a welcomed guest. Enjoying the calm before another storm, I walked to my mailbox and found a package. Inside the package was a slim metal bracelet that I had ordered eight weeks earlier.

A package long overdue, but not really because ….

God’s timing is perfect.

A smile spread across my face as I read the tiny, engraved words on my bracelet.

Abide in Me

Not exactly the answer I was looking for that blustery day, but I knew it was a sign from above. Circumstances change, but God’s response remains the same.

Abide in Me

Abiding is that sweet union which allows believers to experience uninterrupted fellowship with Jesus. When we abide in Him, not only can we rest and experience peace, Jesus says we will bear much fruit and have joy (John 15).

When we abide in Christ, our eyes are fixed on Him and not our circumstances. We lean on Christ, and not ourselves.

As storm clouds gathered on the horizon that day, I ran my fingers over the bracelet. Three words once spoken by Jesus were now etched upon my heart, wrapped around my wrist.

Abide in Me

Today and every day…..even in this storm.

Photo of Bird: Molly Smith Detweiler 

Thunderstorm: Karen Foster

What If I Were Jesus?

We love, because He first loved us.” (1 John 4:19)

Before I asked Jesus into my heart or did a good deed…God loved me.

He still does.

When I have a horrible, rotten day and I’m in a bad mood. When I fail to read my Bible or pray.

God loves me.

Sometimes, I struggle to believe God. And trust that He loves me today as much as He loved me yesterday.

I try to wrap my mind around truth, that NOTHING can separate me from the LOVE of GOD. Not even my pathetic choices, my indifference towards Him.

Surely, I must do something to earn God’s love, make Him love me more.

LOVE MORE?

How could God love any more than this:  “God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us,” (Romans 5:8)

Love caused Christ to be mocked, beaten, spit upon, crucified, and pierced…for my sake.

Knowing God’s love allows me to rest, invokes me to praise His name, share His love with others.

My first and last thought each day should be my first love, Jesus, and the great things He has done.

As if dying for me wasn’t enough.

What if today, I chose to love the Lord with all my heart, mind, and soul rather than treat God as a casual acquaintance?

What if I loved the Lord for Who He is rather than only seek His hand?

What if I were Jesus, would I long for someone to love me too?

Might I say these words…..

Think of the multitudes who thronged ME when I was on earth all eager for something. Eager to be healed, or taught, or fed.

Think as I supplied their many wants, and granted their manifold requests, what it meant to Me, to find amid the crowd, some one or two, who followed Me just to be near Me, just to dwell in My presence.

How some longing of the Eternal heart was satisfied thereby.

Comfort Me, a while, by letting Me know that you would seek Me just to dwell in My Presence, to be near Me, not even for teaching, not for material gain,not even for a message—but for Me.” (God Calling)

Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God.” (1 John 4:15)

Are You Resting?

This Mother's Day weekend, give yourself a gift...permission to relax and enjoy life.

Gotta love the weekends. a sweet reprieve.

Saturday allows me to rest from the busyness of life. Sunday Sabbath reminds me I’ve entered God’s Rest. 

take communion and remember Christ’s finished work on the Cross. And I leave church forever grateful I don’t have to work this coming week … for my eternal salvation.  

“For the one who has entered His rest has himself also rested from his works, as God did from His.” (Hebrews 4:10)

For years, instead of trusting Jesus for salvation,

  • I tried to be a good person.
  • Earn my way into heaven through good works.
  • Put my faith in me.

After I entered God’s Rest, I learned to stop doing things for God and rest in His presence. 

Now whenever I’m tempted to strive or play the High Priest 

  • Applaud my ‘good’ works
  • Absolve my bad behavior.
  • Justify wrong thinking.
  • Pursue my own agenda

I enter God’s Word which is “living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword…able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart.”

What a thought! Everything within me laid bare, open for God’s scrutiny. Like Eve, I want to hide from God’s searching eyes and cover up my intentions. But, then I remember and rejoice.     

“We have a great and high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God...Let us therefore draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and may find grace to help in time of need.” (Hebrews 4:12-16)

Have you entered God’s Rest?

What do you intend to do differently this week to draw near the throne of grace?

Don’t Be Moved

027Hummingbird perched like an miniature statue on the feeder, waiting for me to leave.

For I had stepped outside on the porch while I finished talking to my mother on the phone.

Although I was within spitting distance, Hummingbird didn’t dart away. No ruffling of the feathers, no high-pitched protest. No turning of the head to stare me down. Neither did he drink.

When I went inside and watched him through the screen door, he came to life. His spear-like beak sipped sugar water from the hole in the feeder as though he were drinking through a straw.

Ever so gently, I opened the screen door. Would he fly away?

No. He stopped drinking, cocked his head heavenward, and waited as if he had all the time in the world.

Like a game of freeze tag, neither one of us moved a muscle. 

Hummingbirds have scolded me from afar, waited for me to leave so they could swoop down and drink. Others have zoomed past my head like dive bombers, warning me to leave the area. But I’ve never encountered a hummingbird as stoic as this one.

Curiosity urged me to see how long Hummingbird could be still. But admiration and empathy for the brave little fellow made me surrender, let him win.

He had claimed his post, he would not be moved.  

From the kitchen window, I watched Hummingbird quench his thirst. 

And as my feathered friend clung to the feeder that provided him sustenance, I recalled this verse:

My soul, wait only upon God and silently submit to Him;

for my hope and expectation are from Him.

He only is my Rock and my Salvation;

He is my Defense and my Fortress,

I shall not be moved.”  (Psalm 62:5,6)