My friend sniffs, pausing in the middle of her story to get a tissue from her purse.
I wait beside her in the coffee shop.
Mute. Helpless.
Watching huge tears travel down her cheeks like raindrops rolling down a window pane.
She wipes her trail of tears, and I wonder…
Isn’t there a Bible verse about collecting tears in a bottle?
I swallow the knot in my throat. Blink back my own tears.
What can I say to encourage her?
- Offer to pray with her?
- Quote a Bible verse?
- Assure her everything will be alright.
When honestly, I don’t know how things will turn out.
I touch her arm, but hold my tongue. Fearful of being like Job’s friends. Full of platitudes.
Can she feel my empathy? My longing to make things better?
Perhaps it’s enough I’m here to listen.
My friend eventually changes the subject. Mood lightens. Similar to shifting gears on a bicycle after you’ve pedaled on rough terrain and the landscape flattens out.
We hug; agree to pray for one another. Then go our separate ways.
Nothing changed. Nothing solved.
But just the act of sharing—the good, bad, and ugly—lifts our burdens. If only for the moment.
Spirits strengthened. Eyes fixed again on Jesus. We advance into the night….
Trusting a Sovereign God.
Thankful we’re not alone, even if our friends haven’t walked in our shoes or can fully comprehend the pain.
Consider the Virgin Mary who conceived a son and then went in a hurry to visit Elizabeth.
When Elizabeth heard Mary, she “cried out with a loud voice and said, ‘Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb” (Luke 1:42).
Surely those words were exactly what Mary needed to hear.
Years later, when Jesus was dying on a cross, He saw His mother, and the disciple whom He loved standing nearby.
“He said to His mother, ‘Woman, behold, your son!’
“Then He said to the disciple, ‘Behold, your mother!’
“From that hour the disciple took her into his own household” (John 19:26, 27).
Mary didn’t have to grieve alone.
Mary Magdalene among others was also there beside her.
Isn’t that what friends are for?
Loving the people God places in our lives.
Especially for such a time as this…..
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Even In This 
Thanks for your insightful thoughts and words Karen. You are right, we should love on the people that GOD places in our path. They are there for a reason…
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Wonderful and tender post Karen. You are such a great encourager! Indeed, sometimes all we can do is be still and allow another to experience whatever it is they must.
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So true! We do have to allow others to experience and learn what God is teaching them through the trial.
My tendency is to want to fix the situation, and provide a way of escape.
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Great reminders of what friendship is all about….and the fact that we don’t always have to have the answers, say the right words, or quote the exact Bible verse. thanks, Karen.
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I have probably mentioned this before, but I recall a woman whose mom had committed suicide. While the woman went through her mother’s belongings, a friend came along and helped her without talking.
Later, the woman shared how her friend’s silent presence was the greatest blessing she could have received during that difficult time.
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Very true. We are all here for each other…interconnected through the Holy Spirit:-)
Thank you for these words this morning. A gentle reminder to us all.
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I like how you put that! “Interconnected through the Holy Spirit.”
Perhaps we put too little personal value on our actions towards each other.But what if we saw the eternal purposes in the smallest act of kindness even towards a stranger? Wouldn’t that prompt us to encourage and serve one another more often (and with greater zeal) because we’d realize– we’re the hands and feet of Jesus!
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