Forty-five minutes gives me time to ponder; allows my mind to wander down dark paths.
Concerns creep into the forefront. First one. Then another. Until my anxious thoughts flow like the Dow Jones ticker tape.
Overwhelmed, I decide to pray. Take those heart concerns to the Lord. Dump them in His capable hands. “Casting all your anxiety upon Him, because He cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:6)
No sooner do I pray for that something…that someone ….when my mind drops anchor into troubled waters. And I camp there.
Instead of casting my cares on Jesus and resting in still waters, my thoughts go wild.
I begin to sink. Can’t solve the problem. Can’t imagine that God will either. Takes my breathe away.
So I come up for air, and pray for the next thing. But that next thing is like stirring up a hornet’s nest. Fears, what if’s, hurts circle in my head like hornets. Dive bomb and sting my thin skin. Until I taste the bitter bile rising in my throat.
Oddly enough, as I walk and fret, Chris Tomlin is praising God on my I pod. I hear the melody and his voice. But I’m not listening to the words. My mind is elsewhere.
Occasionally, a random lyric from different songs infiltrate my conscience. Catches my attention.
Song lyric: “Your grace is enough for me.”
Is it? Then why don’t I receive His grace and stop beating myself up?
Song lyric: “Only you can satisfy..Your strength is a tower the righteous run into.”
Really? Am I allowing God to satisfy my heart? Or searching for something else? Relying on His strength? Or mine?
Song lyric: “Here comes the King, all bow down.“
Am I submitting to God’s authority? Or paying lip service and having my own way?
Too many thoughts. Too much SELF standing between me and Jesus.
So I claim 2 Corinthians 10:5, “…Taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.”
Takes intentional will power, but I capture the thoughts and leave them at the Cross of Jesus.
As I’m walking up the driveway, I finally notice the blue skies. And Chris Tomlin’s lyrics in the next song shrinks all my troubles in view of….
What is your favorite praise song?